Like Attracts Like, Odd Attracts Odd

Why I'm friends with Chris reason #365

When I send a text saying "My feet are cold, I require your ass."  He laughs and says "Yeah, I'm always warm."  He doesn't get pissy, take it too far, become offended or get weird. Oh the many ways that I love my friend haha.

Frustration

Why am I frustrated? Because I don't know what the hell is going on with the bachelorette party.

I do not like being in the dark, not knowing what's happening. I know where the party is and when it is. That's it. I know it's an outdoor party.... however, I don't know who I'm going with, how I'm getting there or getting home. I don't know if I need to bring my own drinks or a chair to sit on. I don't know what I'm wearing because it's outdoor and the weather changes around here like crazy. Could be boiling hot, raining, snowing or just plain cold.

I don't know much right now and it's driving me up the wall. When I don't know details about things I end up not wanting to go. I need to know what's going on or I talk myself out of going, or end up worrying more about it than getting excited about it.

I am not an in the dark kind of person.

A Post With No Meaning

I don't really have a lot to say. Not much has changed. Still single, still cramming for tests, still have an off-center bubble. Again I really have nothing of substance to post. Shocking I know.

There is an Alice In Wonderland ad on tv right now. I really want to see it. Tim Burton and Alice In Wonderland are my two favourite things. There is no way that putting them together would be bad.

I can't seem to decide where I am. There is the desire and urge to have somebody to cuddle up to and be used by. To have somebody to talk to, and spend time with. However, at the same time I know that there is a part of me that still feels owned and wants B. Moving forward may solve that but I don't know. Not knowing has resulted in some very pouty no cuddles moods.

There is somebody that I'm drawn to. I was actually drawn to them before B. He's just damn hard to get ahold of and we haven't spent any time together so, really hard to tell whether I'll still be drawn afterwards. Another big issue is that I know damn well Chris doesn't like this guy. At all. I know that in the end it doesn't matter what he thinks but adding strain to the relationship with Chris is something I don't want to do. Plus ya know, my own personal issues so do not help any.

What issues you ask? My weight. I know a lot of people don't see it as one and have told me so. But I see it as one and that's all that matters right? If I see it as a problem then I assume others do too. I know it's my own thinking that screws me up sometimes but the only thing that would get this out of my head is losing weight. Having motivation problems is really not even close to good for this. Has to be worked on, but I've hit one fuck of a wall.

Wow.

I just happened to be scrolling down my page when I noticed that I was over 1000 hits. The last time I looked I was WAAAAY below that. So I just wanted to say thank you to everybody who deems this site readable. I also want to apologize for that very same reason :)

As a thank you and because Cael is in a mood and needs a pick-me-up :



I may or may not be nervous about posting this one.

My Day and A Random List Of Funneh.

• First I awoke. Angels sang, I'm sure of it.


• I went to put an elastic in my hair and promptly pulled it out as I went to loop it around. My hair is shorter than I'm used to.


• Having watched the dog pout at the front window while the grass was cut, I decided to rescue her little world, put a leash on her and take her out front. At which point the lawn mower spit a rock at my that took up residence in thigh. I have a bruise and not from anything fun.


• After which I made her day even better. I took her for a car ride. I wasn't driving, don't worry. No people or animals were harmed in the making of my day. ...except for me..and my mother, but that's coming.


• As we were driving home I got an Iced Cap. My, oh, my. So good. caffeine score!


• We got home, I stripped. Not literally. I rarely ever wear "proper clothes" at home. It's usually sweats, pjs pants and random shirts sometimes of the pajama variety. I like to be comfortable.


• Walking out of my room I passed my cat, who decided to play follow the leader. After five minutes of this I just picked her up. She thinks she's people. You don't hold her like you would a normal cat. No, no. You hold her like a baby, either in your arms or hugged to your hip. I do the hip one because then she puts her front legs around my chest and I get kitty hugs. I must have carried her around for half an hour before she finally decided to get down.


• At this point I dragged the 20 pound bag of topsoil out from the corner of the deck(with a few comical "it's heavy" noises) and re-potted my plants.


• Fast forward a few hours I am sitting in the chair of the living room. Grey sweatpants, grey top, black and green striped socks and my fancy wedding shoes. I was teh fashionable. I have to break the things in somehow!


• My brother called me the wicked witch of the west and asked if a house were to fall on me if my legs would curl up. Icehole.


• A couple more hours later I was walking behind my mom and kicked her in the butt (normal thing around here. We have a house of calamity.) ...however I had my shoes on. Teh pointy ones. She grabber her ass and started laughing. See, these shoes have flat, silver studs in on the toes. Apparently they are not ribbed for her pleasure. This was the start of an hour-long giddy laughing session for us. We amuse each other.  

Music.

I've been listening to a lot of music lately so I thought I would share some of it. I'll post a video or two with the songs I like from each band. Really I'm just bored :)





There are several more of their songs I really like but in an attempt to keep this under 50 videos I'm just putting those two up.



I absolutely love this song. Oh my mental state haha.






There were better versions of this song, but this is the only one that isn't cut all to hell due to censorship.







 
This song just amuses me :)

 



There are sooooo many more. I have over 10 hours of music on my laptop, but since I doubt anybody is going to listen to those, let alone all of them I'll stop there.

Heh. I'm eclectic.

Another day, another headache.

I went in and exchanged my shoes today.  I got flat, black, pointed toe ones. They weren't my favourite but I wanted flats and that cut down on options A LOT. I'm just not steady enough to wear heels, let alone for 6 hours. Most of which will be spent standing.

While in town I also wanted to look for pants. Which was attempted. Big problem here was I want black pants. I found black pants.... They had no zipper. They were pull on pants. I hate those. Found some dark jeans...again, pull ons. I say wtf! What is with the pull on pants everywhere? I have no desire to wear those at all. So, as a result.. I still do not have pants for the wedding.

I did however manage to accomplish a haircut. I've been going to this girl for years. Nobody else has ever cut my hair, which really is a bonus. She knows how to cut my hair without royally fucking it, curl and all. Plus, when I go in and have no idea what I want we talk about it, I give guidelines and she does whatever the hell she wants. Today I picked the bangs and length and she layered, texturized it, and made it look pretty damn good. Knowing the person outside the salon is sooooo helpful. So is threatening to make them glue each hair back on if you don't like it.

Over the last 24 hours I've been doing a lot of thinking. Reevaluating really. Since B and I finished, I've been playing with and teasing Cael. I've teased Mark. I like to tease and somewhat flirt. It happens. Thing is, I don't want to just be a random text play session. I may not be ready for something more but eventually I'd like it. I don't want to be just a plaything. I think I deserve more than that. Being pigeonholed is not something I take kindly. Basically, I'm trying to decide which route I want to go. Neither seems that appealing right now.

Speaking of Mark he thoroughly grossed me out yesterday. He sent me a "I lick your neck" text. Out of nowhere. I had icky shivers going on as I read it. Being a smart ass I asked if he randomly licked peoples necks... to which he replied that he did. Cue gagging noises. I don't even like to hug people sometimes, licking is sooooooo not an option if I'm not dating the person. I mean really, when was the last time these people washed their necks? ... I hope he uses mouth wash...or sand paper. I'd still be grossed out.

Chris has found a girl. (Yeah, after his main reason for not dating me was he wanted to be single! HA! ... I'm not bitter.) This girl is a few years younger than he is. (I made a comment about it and he said I always date older, I can back with "I go up, not down!" I'm too funny for me some days) And a friend of his sister. This could go so badly it isn't even funny. I told him that and few other choice things when he asked my opinion... then he told me that I was always negative with him. Well, first... no I'm not. I'm positive. I'm positive that this is a bad choice and will end badly. See, Positive. He thinks I always assume that he's just going to leave. When I came back with the fact that he had left for weeks or months at a time when he dated girls before his response was basically that he was young. I said yes... and this is a door knob and that's a cat. Young has very little to do with it. I get that he's trying to be more careful and separate things this time... but all I have to go on is the past. Past behaviour is the best indicator of future behavior; and that has proved right every time for me. Hopefully it doesn't this time because now he's close enough I can kick his ass...and I have pointy shoes now, it would hurt way more!

Hmm, I think that's all I have today. My brain is so not up to functioning at full power lately.