Questions

So, as I mentioned before March is Question Month, and I received a couple questions. I definitely want more though, so keep them coming! March is the easiest blogging month, it really is :)

Tough one first :

1. "Hey serene, I'm ****... I see it's question month in your blog and i had a few questions for ya. I just started really reading your blog recently and I noticed that over the past year of posts you've mentioned that Cael has had some issues... medical? and now i see your gone but seem to be taking it really well. good for you really. But I know it's probably a really messy topic I was wondering what brought this on... you seemed to be completely in love with him and his in every way. A few small rule breaks you've mentioned but nothing major. and he gave back his affection obviously... I've been through a simlar situation before and seeing this makes no sense to me still. Sorry if it's a question thats off limits It's just been bugging me since you posted that seeing how similar our situations are. "

I don't want to over step any bounds here so as far as the issues question I'll just say that SOME of them are medical. As for what happened... you're right. I was his, I did love him.. parts of me probably still do. And by "parts" I mean most of me. I can't just shut that off. But it blindsided me as well. It really did. I think that's why I thought I was in denial for a while because I was SO shocked. Essentially what happened is a friend of mine contacted a girl her used to play with asking for a reference for him because this friend thought he was away a lot and lieing to me. So to protect me he wanted to know. I found out who it was he talked to and asked this girl why she said some of the things she did, thinking she wouldn't tell him since she asked that he not know. Which of course I told him.. I couldn't lie to him. He seen me talking to this girl as a breach of trust and quite honestly flew off the handle. He told me my trust issues were insane.. my trust issues had nothing to do with this at all. He also told me I had made everything worse for him, and to go away. He wouldn't listen to me, he just... lost it. So was it trust issues that ended us? Yes. But they weren't mine. Somebody who wasn't hiding something wouldn't have reacted like that to me trying to protect them.. especially when the girl I talked to wasn't even upset about me telling him. She herself said she didn't see why he'd want me to not talk to her and so on. It was a mess, and it was instant and shocking. I cried.. I tried to reason with him. He wouldn't have it and told me to go away and a lot of other insulting painful things. So, I went. And I am doing okay. I typed all of that without a tear, even reliving all of it. I think part of why is because I'm honestly a little pissed that he could just cast me off over something that should have been trivial that was blown way out of proportion.  I'm sure he sees it in a completely different way and that's fine. I know he sees it as my trust issues, and me breaching his trust and going behind his back (which to me makes no sense when I told him everything I knew and did.). I know what my intentions were, I know how deep my devotion was and I know I put up with a lot of stuff other girls wouldn't and will not in the future. A friend of mine told me that I sacrificed my happiness for his. And for a while I didn't know what she meant. Now, I do. I agreed to sharing to keep him happy and with me. I agreed to going vanilla so he would be okay, even though I need that dominance. There are so many other examples.. I gave everything, even my happiness and near the end some of my sanity. Every bit of me. And all of that kind of built up in my mind to help me through this.  I am sorry you had to go through something similar though. It hurts and it fucking sucks even if you can manage to get pissy over it. But then again I thrive on pissy :)

2. "My question is: do you find men with piercings hot?"

In general.. absolutely. I love piercings on guys.. and on girls. I have a guy friend that has the center of his bottom lip pierced and I routinely purr at him. And yes, he is the same guy I had the dream about.

3. "You mention having curly hair. How do you take care of it and how curly is it? Mine is curly and I can't seem to find a routine that works without frizzing my hair out."

Well, as for how curly it is :

It's curly. As for how I take care of it... my routine goes as follows :

1. Shampoo with a sulfate free shampoo.. if it has argon oil then bonus. It really does help. It keeps your hair clean, but without the sulfates it doesn't strip your hair of the natural oils quite as badly as a standard shampoo does. I know loreal has a sulfate free shampoo. I use this brand and I love it.

2. When showering shampoo first thing, then condition and leave it on for the rest of the shower as mini deep condition.

3. Deep condition now and then.

4. When getting out of the shower I use a 100% cotton towel on my hair. Normal towels tend to cause a bit of breakage especially with curly hair. If you don't want to buy new towels use a t-shirt from the laundry bin. If I'm not drying my hair I just brush it out.. yes.. brush. I know curly hair is supposed to use wide tooth combs but if you look at that picture.. my hair is long and thick as fuck. I'd be there for hours trying to comb my hair. Once brushed I add in this lotion. 

5. If I am drying it I use this, after brushing. Then I split my hair in two.. like you would if you were putting in pig tails. Doing one side at a time slowly separate the curls. Just grab a tiny, curl sized chunk of hair at a time and either twist it around your finger, or twirl it. Just do something to define the curls. It takes a minute at first but once you get good at it it goes quickly. Once your whole head is done use a diffuser, flip your head upside down and take a small section of hair at a time, lower it down on the diffuser and lift the diffuser up making sure all the curls from that section stay on it and place it against your skull. Only dry the hair for about a minute each section, and keep going until your whole head is done. If your hair isn't dry after that one minute per section time frame.. then do it again. Just don't scorch your hair or your scalp. I'd say only dry it about 90% of the way and let the rest go naturally so it gets it's chance to curl on it's own. Once done I use a little bit of this just to get rid of the frizz.

6. Finally.. just accept that your hair is curly and will do whatever the fuck it wants :) I've given up on controlling it. But minimizing the amount of time you use your dryer helps. So if you can skip days do it. If not.. deep condition more.

My New Boss

Now, I know I said I'd do all the review items in the order they were sent me... but I've used this toy several times now and it's totally jumping spots. This thing? *eyes flutter* This is the only toy I have ever gotten, used and immediately went to a friend of mine and informed her she HAD to go buy it.

Goodvibes sent me the Fun Factory G4 Big Boss. Now, not only is this my first "luxury" vibrator, my first Fun Factory Toy and the first rechargeable toy I've had that's totally worth it's price tag... this thing is just cool.

Before I get into the review I want to do a size comparison of this thing for you. The stats... kind of lie. I mean they're accurate but this thing feels absolutely huge. 

First off, this is the Cush Dual Density, which is by Tantus : 7” x 1 ¾” diameter

 

This is the Rippler by Good Vibes : 7 ¼” long, 1 5/8”-1 7/8” in diameter

 

 

Lastly, this is the Curve, also by Tantus :  6” long x 1 3/8” wide

 

 Now all of those toys are a fair size. The Big Boss is 9 ¾" long x 1 ¾" wide. Which means it is not as wide as the rippler... yet it feels much bigger than the rippler. I think this is because the vibration is so strong, and the rippler is a shiny, smooth silicone whereas the big boss has some drag to it. I think by now we all know I am not a fan of lube. In fact I hate it. If I can get away without using it I totally will. Case and point? I can use the Rippler without lube. The Big Boss absolutely fucking needs lube. I can take the Rippler in cold.. no extra playing needed to get me ready and open for it. In order to use the Boss though? I have to use the Curve first otherwise my body will just not open enough for it. After 2 or 3 orgasms I can take the Boss.. with a lot of lube. This sex toy is definitely for the size queens out there. Luckily I happen to be one. 

When I first got this toy I was excited... my first luxury vibe. I tore into the box and read all the instructions... about three pamphlets all together between the vibe and the charger. As a bonus it also comes with a little packet of water based lube. Which is great since I didn't have any. Now, the toy says to charge it for 6 hours. When the toy is charging you place the little round charger piece on the back of the toy. The logo on the charger lines up with the logo on the toy and a magnet keeps them in place. I've read a lot of reviews about people hating this charging set up because the charger can easily be dislodged. I found if you place it across it's box or over something like a bowl it will stay still. My cat even nudged it and it stayed charging. During charging the light the back of the port will be red. When it's finished charging it's supposed to turn white. Mine stayed with a red tinge to it even after 12 hours of charging. So if after six hours your light is still a little red, call it done. It's just a proximity thing with the lights inside I believe. 

Speaking of lights, this toy lights up when it's read to play with you. The three buttons on the base (On/vibrate/speed on the top which cycles through 5 levels, Off in the middle, and Patterns as the third button which has three patterns to it) all light up when touched. Now, they randomly lit up for me when I pulled it out of the box and I couldn't figure out how the hell to get the thing to light up consistently. Sometimes it would, sometimes it wouldn't. I have however since learned that you have to wrap your entire hand around the base in order for the buttons to light up. Yes, I am slow sometimes. 

Once it was charged I took it to my room... and promptly found out shoving a tree up your vagina is not always successful. I took my time with the Curve and tried again... again, fail. At this point I'm thinking this toy will be a show piece. Then I remember the little packet of lube, so I wobbled my way back out to the kitchen counter where I left all the packaging (No, my house is not safe for kids) and got the lube. I lubed the toy. I lubed myself. Still, there was a lot of resistance, I literally had to force the toy in.. which for me isn't bad. I like a little pain. Once the toy was in, I turned it on to it's lowest level, thrust it in twice and exploded. However, during that short time I learned that I absolutely love the loop on the end of the toy for thrusting. It's comfortable and makes it so you don't accidentally press buttons and change settings.

To me, this toy is absolutely awesome. The power of this thing... it makes your hand numb on the fifth setting. You put it inside of you and it vibrates in and out. It doesn't have a clit piece because it doesn't need it. It is strong enough it vibrates your clit even when it's in your body and on the lowest setting. This vibrator is my god. Seriously. I'm denouncing all others and praying to this thing! This is as powerful as the Hitachi, it is the most powerful vibrator I've ever seen and it's facking rechargeable! Now, I know a lot of people are reading and thinking "But Serene, the Hitachi didn't work for me!" Well, it didn't work for me either. It's a kick ass back massager but it did nothing but irritate my clit, and it took me longer to orgasm using it than if I used my hands. This toy however, is a whole different story. I've since used it several times and have on more than one occasion had to use two hands to pull this thing out because I clench so hard on it. I seriously cannot give this toy enough praise. 

As far as packaging.. it's not the most discrete, but it is nice packaging and has a lot of information on it.

 

The only thing I do not like about this toy is that it's an absolute lint magnet. Even just sitting in a room with nothing moving... it collects lint. In a toy pouch.. it collects lint. Set it down on your bed.. it will be covered in hair, especially if you have pets. No reason to buy a lint roller... use your vibe! This toy definitely needs cleaning before use, you don't want to lint up your fun places. Just sayin'.


So, seriously HUGE thank you to Goodvibes for letting me review this toy. It has now replaced my favorite vibrator which was a gift from my ex. I was actually a little sad because I didn't know what to do with his vibe. It was my favorite but using it was too much. Now? I can toss it. It's been replaced with a much newer, sleeker, sexier model :)

Holy Shiat!

So, as I nonchalantly do now and then I sauntered on over to my stats today. This blog? In has had the most hits it has ever gotten in a 24 hour period before. The most hits it's ever had in a day. I am pretty damn excited :) To everybody that wandered through today thank you and hello! I hope you come back :)

Now, onto the real post.

I recently ordered some towels from EF. Yes. Towels from a sex shop. In my defense they're large, 100% cotton towels that are great for my hair and were on sale 2 for 1. Anyways. They were delivered. In Atlanta, Georgia. I do not live in Georgia. I live in Canada. Needless to say USPS has made it onto the list. *death glare*  Then to make things worse I can't even contact USPS because they require info on US citizens have in order to fill out an email to send them. And if I want to call it costs an arm and a leg in long distance charges. Not impressed. But, EF is reshipping the items. Hopefully they make it to me this time.

Over the last several days I've noticed something. I want bitten. Badly. A friend of mine kind of bit me the last time he was over, but it was just barely a brush of teeth. I want that kind of bitten that makes my knees buckle and my eyes roll back in my head. I want to be bitten hard enough I scream and bruise. I miss that feeling, I miss it a lot. I think that may be close to the top of the list of things I want done to me. It's been on my mind all day. Of course, this could tie into the fact that my horny seems to have coming roaring back over the last few days. It had died months ago, now though? Oh good gods. I have a friend that I've talked about playing with before, and he's been invading my dreams lately. And I do mean invading in a very literal sense. I remember being pinned down and fucked hard enough I was screaming and making those little inarticulate sounds you make when it feels so good and is so hard you can't help but make sounds. Those sounds you make when every sense you have is overwhelmed. These dreams are reoccurring.  They are not helping the horny situation. Neither is the fact that he's pretty hot.

I've been contemplating ways to bring the treadmill upstairs. I need it in my face to use it.. and to lose some of the weight I've managed to gain back. Not a lot, but enough to irritate me. I also want to lose more weight (No! Really?!)and it being folded up in the basement is really doing me no good. I want to get back down to my slender curvy size. I like that size.. I am nowhere near that size right now but damn it I'll get there! Then I want that fucking mentioned above. *points up*

Now, I leave you with this:

To which I have been singing and dancing for over an hour. Not nicely either.

Well then!

Apparently March is question month. Totally forgot about it.

As always you can comment on any post or send an email any time and I will answer your questions!

Every Girl Deserves A Pearl

So, before I get into this review I first want to apologize for the time it has taken to be put up. Though if you've read previous posts you know very well why that is.

I'd also like to take a moment to completely gush (Heh. Gush!) over this company. First of all... they are Canadian. Do you know what that means? When you order products you don't have outrageous shipping fees, hidden fuck you up the ass fees, or any other added fees put in place just so you can even pick up your package. Nope. You pay your shipping.. and it's yours. Right now they even have free shipping on orders over $49. That's also in Canadian funds.. no sitting there trying to calculate what a purchase is really going to cost you. And another added bonus? If you look through their site you're going to see a price comparison on pretty much ever single toy. It shows you how much you're saving by shopping there. These prices are quite honestly the best I've seen. I have several times been flitting through the site, see something I have purchased before finding this company and cursed.. loudly. So, all my Canadian readers... this is where you want to shop!  And just because they're awesome .. they also operate out of the US. Yes. They are in both Canada and the US so technically pretty much everything I just said (if not everything) also applies if you're in the United States. What is this company you ask? Why it's Pinkcherry.com! Which yes, does make me smile.

Now, on to the toy!

The sex toy I received is the Bcute Pearl by Bswish. This toy has actually been on my wishlist for a long time now. It seems to be one of those toys that is reasonable in price and looks good but just never seemed to make it into my cart. I'd always find a bigger, flashier toy.

Boy do I regret that now. Even though this toy is only a 3 inch insertable length.. it is awesome. It runs on one AA battery and is controlled by a dial at its base. Any toy I've ever gotten in the past that ran on a dial wasn't very powerful. It seemed like it had endless options because of said dial but in reality it went from nothing to a gentle buzz. This vibrator however is not like that at all. As soon as the dial is turned even minutely it comes to life. At full power the entire thing vibrates more than I've seen some full vibrators go. The vibrations on this are actually really stimulating and relaxing which I realize are completely contradictory. It all depends on where you have the dial set.

For me personally, I use the low settings as a tease. When I'm ready to actually orgasm I turn it up all the way. However, I don't actually use this toy internally. To me, the length just isn't enough. Though it does tease well over the vaginal opening, I use it mainly for clit stimulation. This toy is actually the first toy that made me orgasm after over a month of stress and other random shit and my body was completely uncooperative with the whole orgasm thing. Until I tried this toy. I actually have a little rechargeable finger vibe toy.. and this little battery operated thing kicks its ass. As an added bonus this toy is made out of silicone and completely waterproof so it's great to take into the tub with you.

The vibe comes in a beautiful cardboard box  with a picture of a woman in a bra on the front, and a picture of the toy on the side. So, this isn't the most discrete packaging but it is really nice none the less. Inside the packaging is the toy and a nice little velvet feel pouch with the bswish logo sewed onto a tag on the side. The toy fits perfectly into the bag and that is a huge bonus considering the silicone on this toy is an absolute lint magnet. However, this also happen to a lesser degree in the bag. The little black fibers collect on the silicone so the toy does need to be washed before use as well as after. Just using a mild soap is generally good enough for this toy, I haven't had any issues as of yet. While the stimulation on this vibrator is great, it is not anal safe at all. It's fairly small and has no flared base so it can easily be sucked up inside of your body. I'd keep this toy for clit and vaginal use only just to be safe.

So, thank you to Pinkcherry.com for the toy to review, and for giving me my orgasms back!

PS. If you want to keep up to date on everything Pinkcherry.com is doing follow them on twitter: https://twitter.com/#!/pinkcherrytoys
facebook: http://www.facebook.com/pinkcherrytoys
And go give their new blog a read! http://www.pinkcherry.ca/sex-toy-blog/

A Great Idea

You know what would be grand? A blog post of just every day items.

So, today that is exactly what I'm doing. No drama. No insanity. Just.. my day.

It was grocery day today so that always means an early morning. If you don't remember I am not a huge fan of early mornings. But, I managed to drag my ass out of bed anyways... and promptly into the shower. It was freezing. My furnace has a tendency of going out when it's cold. Lovely little quirk that one. So, I showered, scrubbed my hair and used the last of my color protect shampoo(Not sure if I'm going to keep dying it or not.), and went down to turn the furnace back on. Now, what I want to know is who the hell thought to put the furnace switch in the fucking ceiling? Even with a step ladder I was too damn short and had to go get my tree of a brother to do it for me.

I even managed to dry my hair this morning, which isn't something I do every day. Not good for the hair, but gods do my curls go insane when I do it. I love it.

Once in town I did my usual shopping, with a bit of a twist. Zero frozen items, zero boxed items... all fresh. Which is damn close to what I normally do anyways but usually I get a bit just for everybody else in the house. This time they have veggies, fruit and nuts. I need to rework my system and they could do well with it as well. Needless to say the bill was a little higher this time, especially since I had medications I needed to get as well. For one inhaler for my asthma it was over $100. Ouch. Very much so. Entirely too bad I need the damn thing to breathe -.-

I also managed to find a sulfate free shampoo with argon oil in it. It's actually a brand I've gotten before just a different model of it. So even if I don't like the argon oil one I can go back to the one I used before. I'm oddly excited about this. It's another step in taking care of myself better and I love it.

Earlier I made plans to go spend a movie night with Lady Di in a week or so. I love movie nights with her. We are hilariously awesome. I am completely comfortable around her. It's a nice feeling. We also talked about going for weekly walks once she gets her car back so I'll even be getting a bit of exercise. I'm also planning on doing a camping weekend with her, my uncle and a few other people. All these people are hilarious, and make me feel good and are people I'm comfortable around. It should be a really fun weekend. Especially if I get all the people I want to come. You know those friends you have where every time you see them you do nothing but laugh? That's what all of these people are to me. And we feed off of eachother and it get .. not child safe fairly quickly. For the first time in a long time I'm really looking forward to something. I'm happy with it :)

Treat Yourself

You know, the last 9 months have been hell. The last month in particular. The breakup has absolutely fucking sucked. It's hurt, a lot. I go between being upset and not giving a fuck/being angry. But even more of them time I'm just.. okay. I am. I am really okay without him. Which is something I never thought I'd say or even realize, let alone this soon. Or quite honestly, sooner. It was days after it happened that it first surfaced. For a while I thought I was in denial.. but I'm not. I've had something trigger me that would have caused the melt down if it was coming. I've had several things actually. The biggest one made me cry a bit... but even that faded and is water under the bridge now. So, I'm okay.

Now it's a matter of piecing myself back together. Over the last few months I let a lot of things slide. Both in the relationship and just with myself. I love reading... I haven't bought myself a book in over a year that wasn't review related. I pretty much stopped cooking. I stopped spending money on myself. I literally scraped by with as little as I could with the mindset of "I'll wait to buy that when we move in together,"  "He'd enjoy that too, I'll wait to get it," "He doesn't really like that so I can't have it." Which, in a Mhy/s relationship to an extent makes sense. But quite honestly, the truth is he swallowed me alive. And again, while that is good in M/s it can also go too far, or be really, really bad when the relationship ends. I got lucky.. I had months to prepare me for this. I'm naturally a very strong person.. I've had to be. But, I lost myself in him. Even now I'm still trying to sort out what I like vs what he does. I loved corsets. LOVED them. Now I'm looking at them wondering if that was me or him. That is just one example in amidst hundreds.

Lately though, I've been doing things for myself. Even just silly things. For instance I ordered a shimmer filled lotion from EdenFantasys just because it makes me feel good. I have my eye on several other pampering products from them as well. Because I'm worth it, and I'm going to take care of myself, and spoil myself. I also recently got a commission check from them. (Btw guys, thank you for going and ordering products, it's really helping me out.) Normally I'd put the money in the bank and save it. Tuck it away just in case. This time? I wasn't expecting the check and I plan on taking that surprise money and going and buying myself a nice set of sheets. Why sheets? Because I want silk ones.. or bamboo ones, and yes that may mean waiting for another check ..or even another five. I am spending it on a luxury that I normally don't spend more than $20 on. Again, because I Am worth it and why the fuck should I wait to get these things? There is no reason. I am reason enough to splurge now and then. I am reason enough to go buy that insanely priced luxury sex toy that I've been eying for months. I am reason enough to do all of these things.