Freak Like Me

Are you all a freak like me? A Fleshlight Freak that is. Lately I've gotten more and more into just a standard dildo. Vibrations are awesome but sometimes something more life like goes a lot further for me. These toys are all made from silicone making them body safe. They are also able to be sanitized by boiling them in a pot of water which is always a must if you're going to be sharing this toy without a condom. The silicone itself is typical quality in that it's flexible but also strong enough for heavy thrusting.

My ultimate goal is to collect the whole line of toys (Gotta catch 'em all! heh.) and have them on display because they do have an amazing amount of detail. Now, because I am a firm believer in not having toys just because they look cool, they also have to function well at their job. I mean if you have a beautiful toy on display on a shelf it's nice.. but.. it's a dust collector. For me they have to meet their required function.

I was sent the Alien dildo and it by far meets it's function...primary directive to infiltrate the human form. What? These things are just awesomely punny!The box is arrived in was fairly large and it showed the Alien on the side as well as the rest of the line on the back. So, this isn't a very discreet box but if you're having it shipped to you it comes in a standard cardboard box anyways so that shouldn't be a problem.

The measurements of this toy are pretty impressive. This is definitely a toy for a size queen. It is over 7 inches long, about 6 of that being insertable. A circumference of over 5 inches with a diameter of 2. This is not a small toy. Here is it in comparison to the Tantus Cush (L 7'' , C 5.5'', D 1 3/4'')

Obviously this toy has some girth. What I didn't expect was the smooth feeling when it's inserted. Yes you can feel a bit of the detailing on it but it's done subtly enough and soft enough that it doesn't take on that irritating feeling that a lot of heavily detailed toys can have. For me, this is definitely a lube toy. I hate lube, I generally don't use it for anything other than anal toys but this one did need a little lube to go in comfortably. Of course that force of the girth in the this toy without lube can be appealing to those of us with masochistic tendencies and it does both beautifully.

I've began to use this toy when I want to be overwhelmed. There are many different types of orgasm and the ones I get from the average sized toys are good but they take time to draw them out. This toy for me falls into the overwhelm me category in that it does exactly what I've stated. It's wide enough that it overwhelms all the nerve endings inside of me and sets me off fairly quickly with no warming. It's just suddenly there.

The only complaint that I have about this toy is that it would be a lot easier to use if it had a loop on the end or a larger base on the other side of the testicles. I find that once inserted it can be a little hard to thrust because of the girth/drag ratio. The shaft of this toy is also curved just a tiny bit in the center and because of that it makes it uncomfortable to flip the top upside down and use the testicles as the handle.

Other than that this is definitely a start to a very promising and pleasurable collection. Thanks EdenFantasys!

Back Into The Swing Prep

Yanked from Mama Slave Kaya

1. Do you sleep with your closet doors open or closed?
Open.I have a cat that likes to sleep in closets and I don't want to lock her in, plus I have my stereo inside of it and most of my necklaces displayed. The rest hang off of an eagle figurine with wolves painted on the wings. On top of that it just makes my room feel cozier for some reason. Not so closed off. I don't like feeling closed off. 
2. Do you take the shampoos and conditioner bottles from hotel?
Nope. I have curly picky hair. Very rarely do I even use what's there let alone take it home. If I'm staying in one I bring my little jars to use.

3. Do you cut out coupons but then never use them?
No.Where I live doesn't seem to be as coupon crazy as the US.Very rarely do we get coupons. Just lots of sales. 
4. Would you rather be attacked by a big bear or a swarm of a bees?
Bees. I live near the mountains. My family has farm land. My father hunts. I'm not allergic to bees so I'll take them. I know very well the chances of surviving a bear attack. Quite honestly I'd choose Russian Roulette over a bear, especially a female with cubs.

5. Do you always smile for pictures?
No.But then I Rarely take pictures. I hide from them if I can.
6. What is your biggest pet peeve?
Right now? People just taking my stuff or moving it/putting it back in the wrong spots. 
7. What size is your bed?
Double
8. What’s your least favorite movie?
Anything religion/doom day based. I hate that shit. 
9. What do you dip a chicken nugget in?
Sriracha 
10. What is your favorite food?
Of all time, tacos.. even a taco salad gets me all skippy. Right now though it's sushi.. I'm on a kick yo. (Oh look, sephi brainwashing shows itself again!)
11. What movies could you watch over and over and still love?
Cartoons/animated movies.
12. Were you ever a boy/girl scout?
I was a Brownie for a couple years because that's what my friends were into and I was tired of sitting around alone every Wednesday. I hated that. 
13. Would you ever strip or pose nude in a magazine?
Probably, yeah.
14. When was the last time you wrote a letter to someone on paper?
Haha, probably a letter to santa when I was five. I rarely even write emails let alone actual letters. 
15. Favorite kind of sandwich?
Gorgeous, chewy seasoned bread with turkey and chicken then loaded with veg: lettuce, tomato, cucumber, peppers... all of it.
16. Best thing to eat for breakfast?
It depends. Eating disorder days my breakfast is a meal replacement shake because that's all I can stomach. Generally though it's fresh fruit or oatmeal. Occasionally I'll have eggs.  
17. What is your usual bedtime?
Generally in bed for around 10. Don't sleep until 12 or later usually though. 
18. Are you lazy?
Everybody is lazy sometimes. 
19. Do you have any magazine subscriptions?
Nope.
20. Do you sing in the car?
Yes. And in the kitchen and living room or wherever I am when an awesome song plays.
21. Wal-Mart, Target or Kmart?
Wal-Mart. We don't have the other two. 
22. What’s your favorite color?
Deep purple/deep red. They're even.
23. Do you sleep with your sheets tucked in or out?
In. I can't stand it when my blankets move and get messy .. they must be tucked! 
24. Have you ever stolen a street sign before?
No.. I really don't see the point in that. 
25. Do you like to use post-it notes?
Not really anymore. I use them on my computer and phone as in the app but the actual ones.. no. I tend to write them and then walk away and forget they're there. Makes them useless.

Chunky Dunking

Well, I am back. I have my gorgeous new laptop... a sexy, black, sleek stud if I do say so myself. I'm calling him Horris for now. It's an undecided name.

Okay.

Well.

Technically I got my computer probably..  5ish days ago. And I haven't blogged. I've opened this window.. so many times I've lost count. I've typed.. I've typed a lot. Then I close the window and delete the post.Sephi made the point that I need to just jump back into writing, that it wont get better if I do not at least write something..so..chunky dunking. I have a lot of shit going on in my head right now guys. Scary shit. Shit that has literally scared me. I am not ready to march those demons out for everybody right now. From the little leprechaun sized guy right up to the fucking Ring Wraiths. I type it out.. and I find more hidden corners, more dark cobwebby places that I'm not sure if they're new or if they've always existed and I never had a name for them until now. But the important part is even if I'm not talking about them here.. I am talking about them. I talk to Sephi, and I talk to Beardsley, and Jason. And lately.. I've been talking to C again and let him see a bit of them. (I have mentioned him before as a friend that randomly disappears but I don't have the time or give a shit to go find what I called him so he will now and forever be known as C.)I'm also working on them, and trying to work through them even if it is a panic inducing endeavor. I'm not saying I will never talk about them here, but for now.. I just can't get them out yet.

In other news I went shopping today. I was actually looking forward to it which is a huge thing lately. I got myself a valentines present too, because I'm loving myself this year damn it and not in just a dirty way anymore. I came home with 12 new kinds of tea. I am on a huge tea kick lately. I came home with 12.. but they joined about 30 that are already here. Most of them loose tea from a Canadian tea company. I also grabbed a few new shirts..in a size much smaller than I'm used to wearing both because of weight loss and refusing to hide myself in baggy clothing anymore. I needed some new jeans but feck me! I found out I can now fit in a size smaller than I thought I could.. but I cannot under any circumstances deal with jeans that are just too short for my body. Any pair I tried on today were either too big (FUCKING SCORE) or fit in the waist awesomely but the legs were too short -.-  . After that? I grabbed some sushi for dinner.. because I am awesome and deserve to spoil myself now and then  as opposed to never like before.


Christmas was good.. I made the dinner and had people here. It was nice.. a lot less stress than family gatherings usually are because I controlled the guest list. Yes. I am that bitch that deliberately did not invite you to Christmas with the rest of your family.. because it is my home and I get to choose who to let in and who I want to deal with. You wouldn't have been comfortable anyways... as is usual with the group I chose to let in the night degenerated into hilarity when the sex toys were stuck to walls and pickle jar lids because my cousin things he can freak me out with sex shit. I. Fucking. Win.




Before Christmas it was Lady Di's birthday who is now officially divorced from my uncle. We spent the night out. I got hit on.. by a very cute boy who told me I was beautiful and decided to pet me.. silly man.. subs loves them some pets!


And that ladies and gentlemen is what I am calling that for my first post back.

Double Trouble

So, I have not deserted you my dearest blog and readers. Nope. Not at all.

What happened you ask?

Well, let me tell you...

My laptop? My beautiful, gorgeous, looks brand new, ridiculously well taken care of laptop.. died. She died a tragic death. She made some clicking noises... then... I haven't been able to start her since. This  happened several wees before christmas. So.. here I sit. My phone does not like the blogger app.. I've even had to borrow a phone just to post this.. but I'm working on it and I'm hoping to be back up and running soon. But laptops? They cost money. Damn things. -.-  But to tide you over.. I leave you with a couple words.  Jason. Hot. Wet. Mmmmm.

Winner! And A Bad, Bad Blogger!

I am so sorry guys! I had every intention of posting the winner of the lube pack on the second. However, I managed to fuck my back royally and could barely move so sitting long enough to write a post was out of the question. I've been on muscle relaxers for a few days now.. it's getting better. I also thought I had a few more days to post than I did.. I'm calling it pain med induced crazyness. *shakes head*

Anyhow,

The winner is number 1



Please message me with your email address!

It Comes In Three

I have been holding off on this post, wanting to heal a little bit before I had to write about it but come this morning that wound was just tore right the fuck open again.

A couple weeks ago my uncle died. He was in the navy when he was young and when he came back they didn't at the time recognize PTSD as an illness. By the time they did he was at the point where he refused help. He spent his life drinking, and trying to forget that of his whole  group he was the only one that made it out of the war alive. He drank a lot. He drank so much he shut his liver down. For the past few years we've known he was dieing, he's been on that brink for over a year. Last year we thought he wouldn't make it to Christmas. Well he did, he couldn't remember his wife, or where he lived or how to dress himself and he was hallucinating and seeing things that weren't there but he made it. Then over the summer they finally had a doctor take a good look at him and start him on pills and meds and he got better. Then he'd sink. Then he'd get better... and sink again. This went on for months


Then, this morning I woke up to find that my aunt had died. Not the one married to the uncle. This was my great grandmothers sister. She was a riot to be around and always scaring and playing pranks. Last time I visited her we cooked, and talked and she showed me her project.. she loved making wine.


So, that's two. Death in my life has always come in threes so I know there is another one lurking somewhere and quite honestly I am sick of this shit. So, I say to all my friends and readers and fellow bloggers, be careful out there!

Taste Like A Rainbow Giveaway!

Or perhaps a fruit salad. Ya know, it all depends on how you're feeling that day I suppose.

You all know by now that I work with EdenFantasys right? Well, being the awesome company that they are they have offered to allow me to host a giveaway for you all. I had a couple products to choose from but this kit right here intrigued me the most!

So, EdenFantasys and I are giving away The 12 Nights Of XXXMAS flavored lube kit! It features 12 little pillow packs of cherry, strawberry, and vanilla lube. If you've never used a flavored lube before or love using them for oral this kit is perfect!

Rules:

Contest is open today, Monday (19 of November, 2012) to December 1st Winners will be announced on the second. 

There are 3 ways to enter:

Leave me a comment ..about anything. It could say "Hi!"

Follow me on twitter: Then come back and leave me a comment telling me you follow me, as well as your twitter handle.

Follow EdenFantasys on twitter. Follow same protocol as above. 

So, that's three separate comments, and three chances to win. If you comment and leave it all in one you will only get one entry.

This contest is open to absolutely everybody in the world. If you are reading this you are eligible to enter. Once a winner is chosen I will put up a post asking you to email me with your name and your email address. Or if you don't want to tell me your name just send me an email and I will direct you to the lovely woman you need to be speaking with!

Good luck everyone!