I’ve been involved in the BDSM lifestyle for a few years now. In this time I have learned quite a few things merely by stumbling into them. I have compiled a list with a few of these lessons in hopes to save some of the bruises I received. Or at least give you new things to try. These are all things I’ve done. A few of these may be done on a regular basis.

Okay, perhaps most of them are done on a regular basis.

• When receiving a spanking, do not call out “Use your words!!” It will get you nowhere.


• I can’t even begin to count the number of times I have gotten an arched eyebrow in response to something I’ve said. Including threatening to wax said eyebrow off so he couldn’t use it. I think this was bad for obvious reasons.


• The words “I dare you” should never be uttered. You will lose that bet.


• “It was just a lucky shot” and “Bet you couldn’t do that again” also fall into the previously mentioned category. As does “That won’t fit!” because believe me, it WILL.


• During an argument the phrases “You can’t make me” or “Who made you boss?” are never valid. They can in fact make you, and well…you made them boss.


• Threatening to punish your dominant, be it physically or otherwise will only cause laughter. Generally a lot of it.


• Offering stickers for your dominants good behaviour is not appropriate. Apparently..


• Do not smack your dominants ass as they walk by unless you’re faster than they are and can escape.


• Never assume you’re faster than your dominant. You are not.


• When woken up at 3am to get your dominant a glass of water, growling, “Get it yourself!” will not go over well and you will find yourself face down sleeping on the floor.