Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Head, Shoulders, Knees, and Toes...and Everything In Between

Master phoned tonight and we got to talk a bit. He has been busier than usual lately so I know how much him phoning meant. I know that he phoned because he wanted me and didn’t want to wait any longer, hard to not feel special after that realization. Since he has been so busy I know that he phoned me instead of sleeping, something that he doesn’t get much of to begin with. It was definitely a treat and a really good one that deserved and required a thank you.  I know he chooses to do these things, it’s not something that is just a given.

While on the phone he asked me if I liked knowing that my body was his. This question made me stop and think. The first thing that I thought of was “No.”

            The more I thought about it the more I realized that I couldn’t even truly comprehend the question. It’s not because my body isn’t his or I don’t enjoy being owned. I certainly do. I just can’t answer that question with a simple yes. I answered, “I like knowing that all of me is yours daddy.” To me there really is no other answer to that. He has had all of me for so long that it’s gotten hard to separate one thing from another.
Master doesn’t just own my body. If that were the case for us his dominance would end with sex. It most certainly doesn’t.

             I choose my clothing everyday for him. I choose daily to put on a lotion I think he would like. My underwear drawer is beginning to fill with black and pink, I despise pink, but master likes it. My hair is the shortest it has ever been because this is what he wants. I am utterly content to just watch and listen to master. I went through a phase at the beginning our relationship where I was scared of being cheated on because he was always away from me, as soon as he told me that it wouldn’t happen, he wouldn’t cheat on me and to trust him…I just did. There was no debating or quiet wondering; I just believed him and still do. When eating out I make choices I think he would approve of.  I rarely go anywhere and don’t inform him. If I go over the calorie limit he has set for me per meal… I redo my entire meal. I wouldn’t need to ask permission for food, to change clothing, to take off my chain or several other things if it was just my body he had control of.

              Lately I’ve found myself looking in the mirror thinking I need a haircut. I don’t, but master would think that I do. My hair is below my shoulders and he doesn’t like that. I’ve been taking extra care of my piercings lately. I realized only today it was because master thinks they’re cute and likes them. I’m looking for more rings to put in my ears, bigger ones because master likes to play with them when we cuddle. I’ve been taking extra care with my makeup and body lately, keeping myself shaved and done up like master likes. I stay clear of people master finds shady or not good for me. He has never told me I couldn’t talk to somebody or restricted me socially.

            If master just owned my body none of these things would be true. Master owns my body, my mind and my heart. I willingly give every part of me to him because he has proved he deserves it.

           From the beginning of our relationship he has made every effort possible to gain my trust. It took a while, but he has it and he is very careful not to break it. If I get upset at something master has done he picks up on it instantly and makes us sit and talk about it until it is resolved. He has been nothing but supportive about my weight loss, going as far as making me rules to keep me healthy while I do it. Since the first time I talked to him he has made sure that I can tell him anything that is going on. He is the first person I have been completely myself around; even when that sometimes means being a ditz or a klutz in front of him. He is the first man I have ever allowed to see me naked, the first few times he seen my body he talked to me and reassured me. He enjoys how twisted I am and likes every single one of my personalities. (There are a few; you’ll meet them all eventually.) Master knows every one of my faults, every scar, and defect and he still wants me to be his.

            Master has worked very hard to gain and keep my trust. He has worked even longer and harder and in all honesty, he still is working a little bit for me to be comfortable with him no matter what. I know master would do anything to keep me safe and out of (unwanted) harms way and he helps me whenever I need it in any way that he can. He has a firm grip on my mind, I’m beginning to choose and want things he would like or would want for me. He most definitely has my heart, if he didn’t I wouldn’t be willing to wait what could be a very long time for him to come back to me. My body, my body is his to do with what he pleases. He can cause shivers down my spine just by talking to me, I crave every bit of him against and inside me, my body responds to him like he’s been in control from the beginning. I’ve never been so comfortable with myself and with another person. There are so many other things that I know he does (and has done) for me but it all comes down to one thing.

           I am his. Every single part of me, my body is just one aspect. Though I do believe that it’s the most fun :)

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