Wednesday, June 30, 2010

A Tease, Cael induced.

I give you a picture because I am mulling over some things I'm not certain I want to post about. Thus... this is fairly safe. And Cael made me take some pictures so why waste them!

Tuesday, June 29, 2010

An Email Story.

Once upon a time,

Holy mother of fuck.

The end.


Different password. If you want it email (top left corner) me. Just a safety precaution.

Monday, June 28, 2010

Knowledge Part Deux

Also known as "Suck it the fuck up!"

I have a sudden spurt of happy egged on by some texts I received. Without going into details or giving away who it is, because I don't know if they want to be known, I'm happy. I now know that no matter how gross, ugly, frustrated or unwanted I'm feeling there is one person out there that thinks I'm hot, sexy and gorgeous and wants me in some way, shape, or form. Aaaaaaaaaaaaand since I just teared up I am leaving this here.


It's been a while since I posted a picture, so I thought I would give you all another body part to peruse.


These are just some things that I have learned in the last little bit :

  1. If I ever have a wedding I will not allow other people to run it.

  2. If I ever have a wedding, the wine will be poured, not set on tables. Especially if somebody else is paying for said wine because it increases the bill by about $100.

  3. If I ever have a wedding, things will be thought out instead of an unorganized mess. (Seriously Sephi, I now have some DO NOT's if you're interested haha)

  4. B was my first master, and a pretty great relationship (for the most part) and as a first master will always be a tiny part of me, at least for a while.

  5. I am a lot more like my mother than anybody ever thought.

  6. I am proud of that last fact.

  7. My uncle's best man (the hugger,groper) got beat up, let alone beat up by a man in a wheelchair. Justice does happen.

  8. Chris is there when I need him, even if his attention is divided.

  9. Cael (wrote his real name again... apparently I'm incapable of writing his alias.) is always around when I need to talk. Even if I am bawling and just need somebody to tell me that I'm not insane. I've also learned that he will tell me that I need to think about what I'm doing, or that he doesn't think something is a good idea when I haven't been able to figure out which way is up enough to see what is happening.

  10. Asking questions is always good.

  11. Having friends that remind you of some of the questions to ask a new guy is a good thing.

  12. Kicking tires, and asking questions of a new guy is very helpful, especially when you find out he doesn't even know what he wants.

  13. There are quite a few people who know me and like me that are friends with my uncle.

  14. I hate wine. The only kind I like is $5 and bubbly.

  15. I no longer say people are my favourite. I now say "You annoy me less than anybody else in the world!"

  16. People are blind to things they don't want to see.

  17. My fucking plants are refusing to grow! My aunt is coming to help haha.

Saturday, June 26, 2010

A slight rundown

In bullet points because I'm too tired for an actual post.

  • Last night the family of both the bride and the groom went down to the hall where the wedding was being held and set it up. After about 45 minutes of people arguing where to set up the tables... I got annoyed and walked away. My uncle asked where I was going and I told him that when they were ready to decorate to call me.

  • Once the decorating was done they did a rehearsal, for which I took the place of  a bridesmaid because one them was slow getting there. I walked in and out of that hall 6 times. I finally gave up and sat down.


  • Today was the wedding. I got dressed, did my makeup (light purple, medium purple, darkish purple, darker purple and a touch of black eyeshadow plus a little liner. Looked, so good!) and then the 4 of my family, plus Chris went down to the hall. Where he proceeds to tease me, and make cracks about me in a collar, wanting a daddy, and being odd. Good thing I like him.

  • About 3 hours in Chris leaves. Kinda pisses me off, especially since just before he left he got a "mysterious" phone call. I wonder who it was from!? He'd told me earlier that she was not happy that he was there and with me. Then he has to suddenly leave...yeah, do not like her.

  • After he left they did a slide show. They were pictures for the mixed stag/staggette. I swear my uncle had more fun with that little pink dildo than we did :P

  • Then it was just talking, dancing, etc.

  • All through this I was going back and forth between our table/wherever we were standing and the bar. I must have walked that path 10 times. I knew the guy working the bar and he laughed when he seen me coming, he even stopped asking what I wanted. My mother and I drank Caesars all night and I ended up being the one that went for them every time,plus for the odd beer that I would grab for people. When my mother finally went up with me, he looks at her and goes "Do you know how many of those she's had?!" Then we both laughed, because if I HAD, had all of them... I would no longer be standing.

  • Then, to end the night I got mauled. My uncles best man, a man whom I had not taken a liking to decided we needed to be friends. (This was after he told me I had no personality and that maybe alcohol would help it the night before.) He kept trying to hug me. I do not hug people. I can hug those that I like in general if I need to... but if you're drunk and I do not like you... I will not do it. I wont even do it if you were sober. We were standing outside and he comes over, puts his arm around me and wants a hug, I say no, he says he'll pay me five bucks to be his friend. Then he asks if I'm proud of my brother, I said "sure." He started laughing and trying to hug me again and said we could go behind the tree and I could show him how proud. (Oh drunk people!) He then gets very close and asks for a hug, I ask him if he's going to step back. Which he does. Then I escape over to my uncle... he follows. He hugs people over there, and while he's hugging one of them I sneak back to the other group and hide in the middle. Eventually he finds me and asks for a hug, at which point a friend of the family steps between us and pushes him back with her ass and he starts bugging her  a bit until he remembers I'm there then says that everybody else hugs him. I pointed to a far off group and asked if they would hug him and he says the would, so I told him I don't believe him, to prove it. As he goes striding off to the other group I make a break for the doors to get inside. And the whole time this is going on everybody outside with us was laughing. I will admit, that I am tired and drank a bit and left some out because I just can't remember enough to include them, but it was funny. I just don't like people touching me much.


I Think I am going to end this here, I'm tired, and am starting to get a headache. Advil, water, bed. MMMMMmmmmmmm.

Wednesday, June 23, 2010


They will be mine!

This almost calls for a "My pretties!" and a cackle.

(If you click the covers they take you to the authors website and a blurb of the book.)

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Ahh Muse,

you cold heartless bitch!

...I suppose in that aspect we're evenly matched. However, just once, I would LOVE for you to stick around long enough to get further into a story than the first page. I know there are many shiny things out there but you must learn to focus.

Sincerely yours,

The other cold heartless bitch whom you are irritating.

Monday, June 21, 2010


Just a small add-on.

I tell Chris things that I don't tell anybody else, that I don't want others knowing. I feel completely violated and it's not even my phone that was snooped through but it sure as hell was my conversations.

Holy Mother Of Fuck

I am actually so stunned right now, this post is entitled the first thing I thought when this whole ordeal began.

Ladies and Gentlemen, I have found a fucking wackadoodle.

My friend Chris, remember him? Remember how I said he found a gf? I present to you our wackadoodle, complete with her own tinfoil hat and bag of cats. I have known Chris, 12 years.... that's a long damn time. I've always refered to him as hun, always.  Him and I have always talked a lot, always. This little girl has lost her ever-loving mind.

She sent me a Facebook message, asking if I knew Chris and was friends with him. Of course, I text Chris to ask him if it was okay to answer her... I've never met the girl. He said to go ahead. So, I answered that I know him and we've been friends for a long long time. At this point she pulled her tampon sideways and become unhinged. She wanted to know why me knowing him that long and being close to him justified me calling him "Hun" and texting him quite a bit, because if he doesn't text me back it's obviously for a reason. This was where I sat, mouth open, shocked staring at this message for several minutes. I came back with "I've always called him hun, I call several people that. We talk a lot, we're pretty close, if he doesn't text me back that's fine. It's his choice."    Because really, the name means nothing to either of us... he's called me hun on several occasions as well and we talk a lot, we tell eachother everything and anything.   She then told me that I don't need to text as much, but I'm "a big girl" and can do what I want, but she doesn't appreciate it.  *Cue head spinning*  Trying to be civil I sent "I don't particularly appreciate you coming at me this way either. He and I are friends, if he had a problem with it he would tell me. He asked why I had stopped texting him as much, so I started texting again." I then congratulated myself on keeping my temper in the face of a wackadoodle. She then got pissy about my "coming at me" comment and followed it by saying shes never met me,  but I talk to him like I'm his gf and she's not a dummy. At which point she called me sweety (hmm,...random pet names for people other then your significant other? SHE MUST WANT ME! Ffs) "My friendship with Chris is exactly that, mine with him. He is my best friend and vice versa, all it is, is friends, always has been, always will be. What you're reading into things isn't what's going on. If you had a problem with me, then why come to me and not Chris?" soon as I asked that question I got told to have a nice life, and to stop texting him.

Holy fucking wackadoodle.

Add On

Just  a minor note:

I added a contact section to the top of the left column. Feel free to email for passwords or if you just want to talk with me and aren't comfortable posting. I'm still working out the kinks but I'll try to answer in a timely fashion.

Saturday, June 19, 2010

Oh, That's why!

Holy Mother Of Fuck. I am in a mood.

You would think after going to a bachelorette party today, drinking, having fun I would be in a great mood. And I would, if I had been able to leave about an hour or so after the party ended. However, after the bachelor/bachelorette parties the two groups merged for a bbq.... great, wonderful. I was fine with it. Now, that I have that explained I will start from the beginning.

The bachelorette thing started at 2 in the afternoon. It was just a small party, with a few games, gifts, drinking and whatever else we wanted. I sat off to the side a bit with my aunt seeing as how I didn't really know anybody. (I got more comfortable with some as the time went on) Everything was great at the party, I had one of the coolers I had brought (took 3 for myself, brought home one. I also brought 3 for my dad when he showed up) and we all sat around talking. As bbq time roles around a few more people start showing up, my dad included. By the time all the guys got there that had gone to the strippers for the afternoon... my dad had finished two coolers, about 45 minutes. My uncle walks in (and boy do I use the term "walks"loosely) partially carried by Lady Di's son. About an hour into watching him stumble, scream, fight and rip open his pants I figure I've had enough. I'd been there about 5 hours at that point, I was ready to go home. My dad walks up and informs me that he has drank all his coolers and was going to get a 6 pack of beer. I inform him that it's now just before 8 and we should get going. He says okay, but he wants to have a beer first. ... I'm not going to win the argument so I give up and he goes to get beer. At this point, my uncle, his best man and the MC for the wedding and have spilled several drinks, fought each other, screamed at each other, thrown my uncles "crown" around about 30 times and have posed with the plastic penis from the bachelorette party.

Fast forward another hour. I am still fucking there. Hell, fast forward 2 or 3 hours... I am still fucking there. I have been told "One more beer" several times. I have been yelled at, just about trampled several times, and honestly... I have just had enough. There is only so much drunk shit I can take before I just get pissed off. I am at that point. I cannot fucking deal with drunks. I have watched one uncle die because of drinking and now I am sitting watching the other uncle who is a "former" alcoholic and "former" drug addict, do those two things. Add that to about 6 other people who are completely wasted and insist on talking to me, threaten me and just plain piss me off... I am not happy. I've floated in the house, in the yard...everywhere, I am not comfortable anywhere. I am not comfortable about people when they're drunk. I've seen way too much of it. I ended up at one point talking to Lady Di about how I choose not to get drunk and couldn't be drunk like the people around there. She says I don't have to be... wonderful, I agree. I do however have to deal with all of them when I have no way home. Anybody that could have taken me home had already left several hours before. Finally by 12:30 I went back over to my dad and told him what time it was and that we needed to go, I'd been there over 10 hours. He asks if he can have another beer, my response ? "You've had 3 coolers and 5 are fucking done." About a half hour later he finally decides it's time to leave.

He should not be driving... however he does, I don't drive, everybody else left and he refused to pay for a cab. I have no way home if I do not go with him and there is no way in hell I am staying at the house with my uncle and his soon to be brother in law who had threatened me twice because apparently I was judging him. So, we get in the truck.... and I fucking swear if you went out and looked there are nail marks in the handle on the passenger side. We swerved, we didn't turn as soon as we normally would... my stomach was in my throat all the way home. And for those of you thinking it... I tried calling several people... no answer from any of them.

This is why I do not go out to parties or get togethers like this. I can't fucking stand it. For a couple of hours, yes....once they start getting drunk beyond a reasonable level (or arrive drunk in some cases) I need to leave. It affects me. I get pissed off, I get upset, I got home and I was teary eyed because I had no fucking way out.  People think I don't go out because I'm shy, or in a rut or scared... not true, I just cannot stand people. 

As you can see, I am in no mood to write a good post tonight so I'm leaving this here.

Thursday, June 17, 2010

Rectal Cranial Inversion

A two-part post

Part 1.

If any of you read my post yesterday you will have noticed that I said it was thursday night when in fact it was Wednesday. That was only a tiny blurb of my blank mind lately. I think over the last few months I've gone through enough emotional crap, mental gymnastics, and been run off my feet that after I wrote my essay my mind kinda went "Well, we've had enough. You're on your own now."

Even grocery shopping was above me the other day. I had a list made and couldn't for the life of me figure out why I wrote down some of the things I did. Just following the list I was getting frustrated and I have no idea why. Just could not focus enough to do it.

Part of my issue lately is people are just driving me nuts. Right now I am talking to Chris who is telling me that he will go to the wedding but wont be staying out here for the night because his gf wouldn't like it. Well ya know, I asked about this when they started dating and he said it would be fine, now he's saying that he meant the wedding in general. I do not want him driving after he drinks. We had a night planned. It was going to be fun. Now it's thrown out the window. I mean really, it's not like anything would happen, he would be staying in the living room, not my room. Plus, he has a gf... he doesn't cheat and I don't want any part in helping anybody cheat. Yeah, yeah, different rules and such but it really irritates me when people date somebody and then completely change and that seems to be what's happening.
Part 2
Rectal Cranial Inversion : Holy Crap on a Cracker.

My day... holy shit.

First thing first, I can fly.

For two days now it has been raining. Non-stop raining actually. Everything is soaked and puddled. The wind is also blowing. The wind around here doesn't just blow. It peels shingles, blows down trees and throws trampolines into sides of houses. That's what happened today (again, yes twice now) so my mother and I went out to take it apart so it didn't wreck the siding. Now, first we thought we would just turn it over... it's worked before. We tried. We got it up on its side and a huge gust of wind came and picked it up,lifting my feet up off the ground and flying me to the other end of the yard where the trampoline slammed into the fence.

At this point we decided just to hold it down while my brother took the springs out and took the thing apart. Finally we had the netting off and I went around and picked it up and carried it to the deck.... further soaking myself. I looked like I had just climbed out of a pool. Now, normally you would dry off, warm up and be done with it. My body however rebels. It hates being hot but cold is worse. I get cold then I get dizzy, headachy, I've even fainted. My skin gets really red, and then white blotches develop all over my body. They get stingy and sore and raise from my body a bit, then eventually I'll get warm and they'll start to fade and disappear. It's frieken weird.

Speaking of freakin weird, I have a friend whose sister is sleeping with his brother. Step siblings but holy wow is that creepy to me. Nothing illegal but damn. Especially since telling this guy was a horrible choice by whoever told him... he's so protective.... it drove him insane. I just cannot seem to fathom what logic leads people to their choices sometimes. Wow.

Wednesday, June 16, 2010

Proven Right

What have I been proven right about? Chris disappearing now that he has a gf.

I brought it up to him a few days ago, and we eventually got into a discussion about how my uncle thinks I have a touch of depression lately. When Chris heard that he said that he would come visit me this week. I think it was partially a pity visit because if I hadn't mentioned that I don't think he would have made the offer. However, that doesn't matter because I haven't heard from him since. It is now thursday night. Weekends he spends with his gf, and I'm busy this weekend anyhow so it's out. Next weekend is the wedding and really, I'm wondering if he's even going. I used to talk to him every single day, since he's had a gf, I've talked to him twice. I'm getting a little pissed off to be honest. He swore this wouldn't happen, promised... and yet here we are. Yet-a-fucking-gain.

Tuesday, June 15, 2010


My test this morning was an essay at least a page in length. They asked if government should have complete control or if people should have involvement in it, and if so how much?

Silly mortals. I wrote six pages. I'm not an opinionated person...not at all.

Monday, June 14, 2010


I'm feeling pretty isolated lately. Everybody I know has a gf or bf and is preoccupied with them. Chris found a girl and I haven't really heard from him much. He's been off work for a week or so and I've gotten two texts and haven't seen him in about a month. Cael has a gf and I haven't heard from him a lot either. When I have the conversation has had a different tone, which I was honestly expecting but I don't know. Mark isn't answering me, and my one and only girl friend that lives here is always out camping with her bf.

I just feel isolated and cut off from a lot lately. Thus I am not feeling too hot. Add that to being preoccupied with tests, the wedding, family badgering me to get out (With who I ask?!) and just feeling kinda down, I have little to no inspiration for posts. It's getting a little sad.

Friday, June 11, 2010

Unexpected Company

No, not that kind. I finally got around to looking at my search terms and some of them really amuse me.

I don't like my language watered down is this the place for you. With that said, this was not even close to the place you were looking for was it?

Serenesub  ...the fact that people like my blog enough to search for it is scary in itself.

what does yes! - that was the reason (as a do I wish I could see the rest of that!

kind master punishes and fucks me blog     ....well, they definitely knew what they were looking for.

living room punishment master sub erotic purple banana...obviously.

when the smooth softness of youth is rep       .... a search from a faerie book... good books...bad click choice.

to lucasta going to the wars anita blake   ....oh the images.

Fingers on clits     .....WHERE!

begging master for punishment   ....I don't frieken think so.

Heads shoulders knees toes master     ....I don't even know what to say about this one    ....wrong blog, next block over.

blogspot being tied up that would be good to see

friendship quote drop by drop spillover        ....I had that happen once, never with a friend though

master sub punish food   .....*ahem* "BAD BANANA! BAD BOY" (boy makes sense)

first lesson of bed tied up    ....what did it do?!

thought leaves me behind   .....that happens to me too. I eventually catch up

a slave among drivers door, thanks for visiting though

you put it in cider     ..... *cackles*

master wants me to come up with       ....holy wow do I wish I could see the end of that sentence

punish me    ....bend over.

shortest it has ever been     .... I hear they  make pills for that now

froggy nights: ringtone      ..... Oh wow. Should've taken that left turn at Albuquerque .

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

Yet Again

Another smaller post today. I'm exhausted. In the last three days I've had about 12 hours of sleep, yet cannot for the life of me sleep when I go to bed. I've also been studying my ass off. As of today I have three tests left. I have another tomorrow, one the next week and then another the week after that. I'm burned the hell out. Between things with school, weight, friends, B, family, etc. I have very little reserves left. I cannot wait for this month to be over then I can just sit and decompress a bit. Once I hit the 25th I can do that. Just gotta make it until then.

On a happier note, today I realized my dog is a dog. I know, shocker! Thing is, she acts so much little a little person, when she does dog type things it takes me by surprise. She has four legs. eats out of a dog dish and plays catch... this is about where her "dogness" ends. She was a stray we found about 5 years ago, when we took her to the vet they told us that they thought she was only a month or so old. She wasn't old enough to be away from her mother yet. So almost since the day she was born she's had human contact and that's about it. (She gets along with a tiny chihuahua named Chachee but that's about it. Byproduct of being taken away from her mom too early) For the first 6 months she was with us, she had to wear clothes. She had little bugs on her that made her scratch and pull her hair out and cause rashes, so we were told to dress her. She had shirts and little dresses. It got to the point that when we went to let her outside, she wouldn't go unless she was dressed. She would sit at the door and whine until you put a shirt on her then she would go out. She was nakey ya know. When we take her in the car with us she sits on the seat and looks out the window, and instead of a dish with water...she will drink out of a water bottle. She also doesn't sit like most dogs, she sits flat on her ass like a human does. She occasionally gets tiny scraps and she will eat off a fork. She loves french fries...but it needs to be dipped in ketchup, then because she hates ketchup on her lips she curls them up to take the fry from you. When she sleeps, be it on a bed, or the couch (she rarely does the floor and when she does she ends up using some bodies foot, or random piece of whatever as a pillow) she lays her head on a pillow. If you say "excuse me" she will move. We left her in the car once when she was little to get the mail, we came back and she had opened the hotdog package and had taken 1 hotdog out, leaving the rest for everybody else. She even talks. My mother and I were sitting in the living room one day and she walked in and growled and it sounded just like "I wanna go outside!" Enough so that both my mother and I stopped, looked at her, then looked at each other. I'm telling you this because today I walked out into the backyard and she was rolling around on the grass. I've seen her do this twice and it throws me off every damn time.

A picture...because I can and because I quite like that necklace. It's a skull that turns into a heart.

Tuesday, June 8, 2010

Teensy Weensy

Which is what this post will be. Why? Because today I have managed to go grocery shopping and get enough groceries for a week with very little money, spent about $15 on two pairs of pants that would normally be over $100, woke up at 6 am, have been awake for about 13 hours, studied for several of those hours until my brain was mush, and because I need to get my ass to bed in order to do the first of 4 tests tomorrow...I give you...mine eyes,in a blurry fashion. (I hear the "Oooohs" and "Aahhhs" already) I can't help but feel that I look kind of cross-eyed in this picture. Odd.

Sunday, June 6, 2010

Like Attracts Like, Odd Attracts Odd

Why I'm friends with Chris reason #365

When I send a text saying "My feet are cold, I require your ass."  He laughs and says "Yeah, I'm always warm."  He doesn't get pissy, take it too far, become offended or get weird. Oh the many ways that I love my friend haha.


Why am I frustrated? Because I don't know what the hell is going on with the bachelorette party.

I do not like being in the dark, not knowing what's happening. I know where the party is and when it is. That's it. I know it's an outdoor party.... however, I don't know who I'm going with, how I'm getting there or getting home. I don't know if I need to bring my own drinks or a chair to sit on. I don't know what I'm wearing because it's outdoor and the weather changes around here like crazy. Could be boiling hot, raining, snowing or just plain cold.

I don't know much right now and it's driving me up the wall. When I don't know details about things I end up not wanting to go. I need to know what's going on or I talk myself out of going, or end up worrying more about it than getting excited about it.

I am not an in the dark kind of person.

A Post With No Meaning

I don't really have a lot to say. Not much has changed. Still single, still cramming for tests, still have an off-center bubble. Again I really have nothing of substance to post. Shocking I know.

There is an Alice In Wonderland ad on tv right now. I really want to see it. Tim Burton and Alice In Wonderland are my two favourite things. There is no way that putting them together would be bad.

I can't seem to decide where I am. There is the desire and urge to have somebody to cuddle up to and be used by. To have somebody to talk to, and spend time with. However, at the same time I know that there is a part of me that still feels owned and wants B. Moving forward may solve that but I don't know. Not knowing has resulted in some very pouty no cuddles moods.

There is somebody that I'm drawn to. I was actually drawn to them before B. He's just damn hard to get ahold of and we haven't spent any time together so, really hard to tell whether I'll still be drawn afterwards. Another big issue is that I know damn well Chris doesn't like this guy. At all. I know that in the end it doesn't matter what he thinks but adding strain to the relationship with Chris is something I don't want to do. Plus ya know, my own personal issues so do not help any.

What issues you ask? My weight. I know a lot of people don't see it as one and have told me so. But I see it as one and that's all that matters right? If I see it as a problem then I assume others do too. I know it's my own thinking that screws me up sometimes but the only thing that would get this out of my head is losing weight. Having motivation problems is really not even close to good for this. Has to be worked on, but I've hit one fuck of a wall.

Friday, June 4, 2010


I just happened to be scrolling down my page when I noticed that I was over 1000 hits. The last time I looked I was WAAAAY below that. So I just wanted to say thank you to everybody who deems this site readable. I also want to apologize for that very same reason :)

As a thank you and because Cael is in a mood and needs a pick-me-up :

I may or may not be nervous about posting this one.

Wednesday, June 2, 2010

My Day and A Random List Of Funneh.

  • First I awoke. Angels sang, I'm sure of it.

  • I went to put an elastic in my hair and promptly pulled it out as I went to loop it around. My hair is shorter than I'm used to.

  • Having watched the dog pout at the front window while the grass was cut, I decided to rescue her little world, put a leash on her and take her out front. At which point the lawn mower spit a rock at my that took up residence in thigh. I have a bruise and not from anything fun.

  • After which I made her day even better. I took her for a car ride. I wasn't driving, don't worry. No people or animals were harmed in the making of my day. ...except for me..and my mother, but that's coming.

  • As we were driving home I got an Iced Cap. My, oh, my. So good. caffeine score!

  • We got home, I stripped. Not literally. I rarely ever wear "proper clothes" at home. It's usually sweats, pjs pants and random shirts sometimes of the pajama variety. I like to be comfortable.

  • Walking out of my room I passed my cat, who decided to play follow the leader. After five minutes of this I just picked her up. She thinks she's people. You don't hold her like you would a normal cat. No, no. You hold her like a baby, either in your arms or hugged to your hip. I do the hip one because then she puts her front legs around my chest and I get kitty hugs. I must have carried her around for half an hour before she finally decided to get down.

  • At this point I dragged the 20 pound bag of topsoil out from the corner of the deck(with a few comical "it's heavy" noises) and re-potted my plants.

  • Fast forward a few hours I am sitting in the chair of the living room. Grey sweatpants, grey top, black and green striped socks and my fancy wedding shoes. I was teh fashionable. I have to break the things in somehow!

  • My brother called me the wicked witch of the west and asked if a house were to fall on me if my legs would curl up. Icehole.

  • A couple more hours later I was walking behind my mom and kicked her in the butt (normal thing around here. We have a house of calamity.) ...however I had my shoes on. Teh pointy ones. She grabber her ass and started laughing. See, these shoes have flat, silver studs in on the toes. Apparently they are not ribbed for her pleasure. This was the start of an hour-long giddy laughing session for us. We amuse each other.  


I've been listening to a lot of music lately so I thought I would share some of it. I'll post a video or two with the songs I like from each band. Really I'm just bored :)

There are several more of their songs I really like but in an attempt to keep this under 50 videos I'm just putting those two up.

I absolutely love this song. Oh my mental state haha.

There were better versions of this song, but this is the only one that isn't cut all to hell due to censorship.

This song just amuses me :)


There are sooooo many more. I have over 10 hours of music on my laptop, but since I doubt anybody is going to listen to those, let alone all of them I'll stop there.

Heh. I'm eclectic.

Tuesday, June 1, 2010

Another day, another headache.

I went in and exchanged my shoes today.  I got flat, black, pointed toe ones. They weren't my favourite but I wanted flats and that cut down on options A LOT. I'm just not steady enough to wear heels, let alone for 6 hours. Most of which will be spent standing.

While in town I also wanted to look for pants. Which was attempted. Big problem here was I want black pants. I found black pants.... They had no zipper. They were pull on pants. I hate those. Found some dark jeans...again, pull ons. I say wtf! What is with the pull on pants everywhere? I have no desire to wear those at all. So, as a result.. I still do not have pants for the wedding.

I did however manage to accomplish a haircut. I've been going to this girl for years. Nobody else has ever cut my hair, which really is a bonus. She knows how to cut my hair without royally fucking it, curl and all. Plus, when I go in and have no idea what I want we talk about it, I give guidelines and she does whatever the hell she wants. Today I picked the bangs and length and she layered, texturized it, and made it look pretty damn good. Knowing the person outside the salon is sooooo helpful. So is threatening to make them glue each hair back on if you don't like it.

Over the last 24 hours I've been doing a lot of thinking. Reevaluating really. Since B and I finished, I've been playing with and teasing Cael. I've teased Mark. I like to tease and somewhat flirt. It happens. Thing is, I don't want to just be a random text play session. I may not be ready for something more but eventually I'd like it. I don't want to be just a plaything. I think I deserve more than that. Being pigeonholed is not something I take kindly. Basically, I'm trying to decide which route I want to go. Neither seems that appealing right now.

Speaking of Mark he thoroughly grossed me out yesterday. He sent me a "I lick your neck" text. Out of nowhere. I had icky shivers going on as I read it. Being a smart ass I asked if he randomly licked peoples necks... to which he replied that he did. Cue gagging noises. I don't even like to hug people sometimes, licking is sooooooo not an option if I'm not dating the person. I mean really, when was the last time these people washed their necks? ... I hope he uses mouth wash...or sand paper. I'd still be grossed out.

Chris has found a girl. (Yeah, after his main reason for not dating me was he wanted to be single! HA! ... I'm not bitter.) This girl is a few years younger than he is. (I made a comment about it and he said I always date older, I can back with "I go up, not down!" I'm too funny for me some days) And a friend of his sister. This could go so badly it isn't even funny. I told him that and few other choice things when he asked my opinion... then he told me that I was always negative with him. Well, first... no I'm not. I'm positive. I'm positive that this is a bad choice and will end badly. See, Positive. He thinks I always assume that he's just going to leave. When I came back with the fact that he had left for weeks or months at a time when he dated girls before his response was basically that he was young. I said yes... and this is a door knob and that's a cat. Young has very little to do with it. I get that he's trying to be more careful and separate things this time... but all I have to go on is the past. Past behaviour is the best indicator of future behavior; and that has proved right every time for me. Hopefully it doesn't this time because now he's close enough I can kick his ass...and I have pointy shoes now, it would hurt way more!

Hmm, I think that's all I have today. My brain is so not up to functioning at full power lately.