Sunday, September 30, 2012

Bus Bus Baby!

The BDSM community is a largely diverse group. There are all kinds of people that encompass this span. One thing that unites us all though? Buses.

Over the years I have been  run of by my share of "buses" that other submissives have so lovingly driven my way. But for the most part? I've been the driver. This has been exceedingly beneficial for me. Once a year or so ago I was talking to Sephani and her master asked whether or not he should make her masturbate in the bathroom before she left work. Of course being myself and never missing an opportunity to bus my bestie  I told him no.. he should  make her do it on the bus ride home. Which essentially means I bused her with a bus. The irony of it still tickles pink.

Most recently though I was able to bus Sephani really hard.. and for a long, long time. She was having a really terrible day. So I thought I'd send her something to surprise her and hopefully put her in a better mood. I poured through the EdenFantasys website. Looking at lingerie, lotions, candles and toys. Then I found it. It was sitting there in all its silvery glory screaming "Buy Me! She'll Love Me Forever!" I thought about it, mulled it over and demanded her shipping address. I teased her mercilessly for days refusing to tell her what I got her. The day was finally here, she was going to get it! ...and it showed up late so she had to wait until she was done work and home at 1 in the morning. I didn't know she was home until her message popped up on my screen.

"You bitch"

So what did I get her? Why I got her what any loving sub would get their enslaved friend who loves anal :) I got her the Njoy 2.0. I thought about the large. I really did. But it just seemed like a waste. I loved her enough I went above and beyond normal sizes. She's actually already gotten quite a bit of use out of it. She even had to wear it to work yesterday. Her owner asked why we bus each other because it always escalates and Sephi would probably end up sending my next owner a wrecking ball on a boat anchor chain. My answer was simple.. we do it for fun, and we do it for love because deep down we do enjoy the control the mens exert when given a new toy. Especially once of this caliber.


So, Sephi my dear, Game on :)


Also, jump on over to SexIs and read my new article!


Sex toys - EdenFantasys adult toys store

Thursday, September 27, 2012

Blades of grass on tiny bare feet I look at you and you're looking at me

Sigh. It hasn't been long since I posted and yet it feels like forever so much has happened.

To begin with my exercise is going well. Really well actually. I've settled into a routine of two days on one off and it's working great. It's consistent yet short enough I don't feel like it'll never end. I've been increasing time on the machines and the weight I'm lifting. Physically I feel awesome. My diet took a hit the last two days but that's okay because I'm maintaining. I've stupid proofed my food until I get a better hold on my eating disorder. Its WAY better than its been in years but it can still be better and I know that so I'm working on it. I plan to maintain this course I'm on until Solstice then I'll take stock and see if I need to change things. In general though? I'm doing amazingly well. I know already lost an inch or so just by the way things are fitting. Pumped. I am it.

I'm writing at SexIs again. My latest post is here. Go read it, it's a recount on the night I spent away from home during the fire. It's worth it. Promise.

In other news the woman my cousin married (who I am in love with by the way. She is amazing) was pregnant. Yes. Was. We had a couple weeks to be amazingly happy and excited then it was gone. She's taking it hard understandably. So am I oddly enough. I'm sure part of it is being around my niece so much and knowing how much I already loved the new babe and how excited I was for her. She's always wanted kids but didn't think she could have them until she got pregnant which is encouraging and heartbreaking at the same time.

Since then I'm missing a few people, thinking about them. But then again I guess this is the time for that. Which is why the title is what it is. The song just strikes a chord. I cried the first time I heard it. I wont put the video because there was one of hers in the last post but this song is on repeat a lot lately. I'm in an odd mourning mood.

Vivacious Curves

Recently Goodvibes sent me a Fun Factory Delight Click'n'Charge. As I've had a love affair with Fun Factory lately I was especially excited to receive this beautifully made toy. It's black and fucshia and is delightfully and vivaciously curved. It to me is feminine in every way.

After charging the toy it is able to be turned on by pressing and holding down the "+" sign. Once the initial rumble starts there are 7 levels of vibration. While there are no patterns it makes up for it by being insanely quiet. The vibrations are very rumbly and deep and not at all buzzy or irritating.

Upon insertion the toy does hit right again my gspot however, here is where my issue comes in. There is absolutely no clitoral stimulation. I need clitoral stimulation in order to orgasm. So what does that mean? No orgasm for Serene. I tried using a clit toy along side the Delight and while with some adjusting and an immense amount of patience it will work the noise it created by touching the handle of the Delight was just too much for me. Because of the shape of this toy it makes it very hard to thrust the insertable piece. It is meant to be rocked back and forth over the Gspot which it does well, but if you need stimulation beyond that it's just not going to work for you in my experience. I even tried using the handle as a clit piece to rub myself again. It just didn't work for me which is unfortunate because it really is a great toy. It's beautifully made, it's rechargeable, it's silicone, it does an amazing job at being exactly what it is; a gspot toy. If all you need is vaginal stimulation to climax then this is absolutely a toy you should be investing in. I'm actually a little jealous I can't use this toy for what it's intended for. It does however make a wonderful  clitoral stimulator, as well as for foreplay and teasing.

Saturday, September 22, 2012

A Long Walk Off A Short Pier

I've had good intentions. I'll go to bed early. I'll get up early. I'll eat healthy. I'll exercise! I will rebuild! I have the technology!

*ahem*

Today I did it. Well..kind of. I did not get up early. I fail at that. Horribly bad. I did however get up and exercise and generally kick my ass. Crunches, weights, run/jog, and my new all time favorite? The heavy bag. I love it. It's awesome for aggression. I MAY have some. I followed that with some peanut butter chocolate protein shake and a container of water and a shower. Lunch was half a veggie stuffed pita with turkey and dinner is going to be a salad. I feel awesome. As an added bonus the guy I'm working out with isn't up to the amount and distance I did yet.. and he's in better shape than I am. I kicked his ass. I love it. I'm doing it again tomorrow.

In other news I figured out why I'm so facking(I've been spending a lot of time with my niece so I'm TRYING not to swear as much) horny lately. It has been out of control. Six orgasms in a day and I'm still wandering around wanting to hump corners and couches. I switched BC pills at the request of a friend that was freaked out by my brand. So I switched. I'd heard of women who went on a different brand would have their sex drives slow down because the brand doesn't work for them. Ahem. Apparently my old brand did that, I was just young enough then I started on them I didn't notice. Fuck me(I never said I was succeeding at curbing the expletives. Shup.), am I noticing now! Doesn't help when I have several pretties asking me to play..all.the.time. One of them is...*purrs* We'll call him Ethan. I have known Ethan since I was about 15 or 16...possibly 17. It's been a long damn time. I have wanted to jump him since the moment I met him. He's blond, wears glasses (I have a thing for glasses.. large thing. No idea why but *shivers*), and is tall. I love me some tall. Plus I've talked to him for years and love him to death as a friend and love his personality. He's the one person I actually considered fooling around with when I was with Cael and shit was open. I tease him mercilessly though it has been backfiring lately. He just sets me off, I purr.. I have literally purred at him before. He's not dating right now for personal reasons which I understand and agree with, and I'm trying not to fuck him before we date. It's not going well. I wants has him. AND??!!?! He's willing to let me do dirty unspeakable things to him which I fully intend to detail here if I get to do them :)

Tuesday, September 18, 2012

I mean what I say when I say there is nothing left


(I've just had a random appreciation for the diversity in my music tastes. I am insanely eclectic. I can go from Cradle Of Filth to listening to a musical and not even blink. Love it.Mostly, it's the attitude of the singer or the song itself that gets me. )

Today I went shopping. Anybody who knows me knows that this is usually an exercise in frustration. See, thing is that I've had quite a lot of weight drop off of me lately but more so, I've lost inches lately. Even when I'm not losing weight I'm losing inches. So my clothing? Not fitting to great anymore. I have a few pieces that were too snug that are now fitting great and some that are just...way, way, WAY too big on me. I also have a few that I love the way they fit me but I absolutely hate the cut of the sleeves. I have a few cover up pieces but I found a couple extremely light sweater ones today and I'm in love with them. I also found a cowl neck grey sweater with blue abstract designs on it that I fell in love with instantly. For me it's one of those pieces that I can wear it curled up on the couch with pj pants as well as with jeans going into town. I love it that much. Other than that I picked up some other random odds and ends that I needed and came home.

I was so ready to be home. Too many crowds. I'm not a huge fan of them to begin with but lately they've been driving me up the wall. Today, was actually a really good day though. Yesterday was good too. The day before it sucked hells balls though. But I had some wine and did what I had to do to get through the day and let it all go. That night my friend.. who since I last wrote about him has requested that I call him Beardsley or Beard or something. I don't know, which he specified but needless to say I'm talking about the guy with the beard. Anyways, he knew I had a shitty day and when I asked him in my usual pretty pleases tone to read me a story.. he wrote one for me. Seriously. I love this man. I've copied and pasted it into a document and when I have time I'll go through and make it pretty with fonts and hang it up. The story actually helped a lot and I fell asleep right after he finished. Seriously, best guy ever. I'm actually pretty sure he's ruined me for men. I've known him since I was about 17 and he's always treated me amazingly well. I tell him everything, he knows everything about me and is cool with it and I love it. He's about the only person I am absolutely comfortable with too, I don't even question it. I never have, not once. Best friend ever, love him to pieces and he has been especially awesome to me the last little bit. Plus he's giving me cuddles for my birthday, I'm pretty excited about it.

Other than that I don't have much to share here. Things are just normal. I'm doing amazing. I'm happy and just.. content. It's an awesome feeling. I've had a couple people ask me out. I'm contemplating it but I'm really enjoying the single thing right now. We'll see what happens with it all I guess. 

Monday, September 17, 2012

Splish Splash I Was Takin' A Bath


I was splishin and a splashin
rollin and a strollin
movin and a groovin
realin with the feelin

Splishin and a splashin
on a saturday night 


 Ahem. I'm done. Pervs honor that I will never sing to you people again. Today.

Have you guys heard of a company named TabuToys.com? They are an amazing adult store with a great selection of Luxury sex toys. I've been talking with them a bit lately and they've agreed to give me a shot at reviewing for them. After spending quite a while pouring through their site looking at everything they have to offer (Some of which I have never actually seen on other sites before which has excited me to no end btw.) I finally found what I wanted to review. They have in my opinion the absolute best bath salts in the world on their site. 

I can do absolutely nothing but rave about Kama Sutra Treasures Of The Sea bath salts.




 Obviously they turn the bath water an absolutely gorgeous blue color. Now, this picture was taken after I carefully mixed the salts into a bowl of water and gently mixed the contents of the bowl into the tub. Why was this necessary? Because these are not only amazing bath salts, but they turn into amazing bubbles if your water pressure is high enough.





 

The Kama Sutra bath salts come in quite a large tub with a real seashell as the scooper. I use about 2 1/2 scoops per bath however my tub is fairly large. Most people can get away with only one scoop so these do last quite a while. They contain vitamins, minerals and nutrients from the sea so things like algae and other various benefits of the sea arrive neatly at your door in a gorgeous plastic tub.While it does look beautiful it smells amazing. It does not smell like the sea but it smells very clean and fresh and like nothing I have ever smelled before and cannot get enough of.

The salts leave your skin moisturized and lightly scented and will have you and your partner wanting to get closer to you. The applications of this stuff are endless really. It's a great foot soak, you can use it alone, or you can use it with your partner, you can run it together or surprise them with it. Who doesn't like to be surprised with a sexy bath and a glass of wine?

My favorite application though? Go get a kiddie pool and fill it in the yard and let the sun warm the water or pour in a pot of boiling water and add the salts. Now, you could wear a bathing suit but if your yard is secluded or it's late at night, why bother? Take yourself or you and your partner on a little skinny dipping vacay to the sea and see how much water is left in the pool when you get out and just how many waves you can make. If you're like me there wont be a lot of water but many, many waves.








Thursday, September 13, 2012

Chaos

Just checking in to say I'm alive. there was a huge fire where I live a couple days ago. Our entire town was evacuated. I ended up at my grandparents almost an hour away. I'm still alive. I still have a home.. but it was scary.

I went in to town for groceries and I was standing looking at veggies when the fire started apparently. By the ten minute drive home you couldn't see fifty feet in front of your face the smoke was so thick. By the time I got to my little town there was an evacuation notice. So, I packed some clothes, grabbed my cat and dog and we left. The cat howled the entire drive. It was a hoot.

When we were finally allowed back everything was fine. The town didn't burn but another few yards worth of gain for the fire and we would have. The end of the fire is literally one farmers field away from the town. The land we own in the river bottom is fine but only by chance. The first started on the other side of the river and jumped it just a mile or so down from our land. It somehow survived it. Not only did it jump a river, it jumped several highways to get to us. My allergies and asthma are still going insane from the remaining smoke and after affects. It was.. insane.

In other news? Exercise is making a huge come back. As is healthier, and more proportional eating. I think I'll actually succeed this time because I don't have a ticking time bomb attached to me to set off my eating disorder. I have hope, and a lot of veggies and oats. :)

Sunday, September 9, 2012

Censorship

I haven't been posting lately and I finally realized why. I've been censoring myself. This is my place to write, to get things out. So why I'm censoring I'm not sure. Fear of repercussion maybe? Well, I'm done with that. I have no reason not to talk here. If people are reading it and get upset.. well, too fucking bad.  I don't want to hear about it, from anybody whether I know you in person or not. I've been avoiding questions, yet again.. not doing that anymore.

The first question I get is why I don't write as much anymore. For the most part, that right there is my answer. Some is inspiration, and lack of activities to share but most of it is not wanting to deal with backlash from some people.

The second, and more popular question is what happened with Cael? Well, quite frankly a lot. A lot of it I hid from here because people didn't need to know or I wasn't in the right space with it to share. But this last time? I went up there and he told me we couldn't have sex. Literally the day after I left he cheated on me. He came back and told me and we broke up not long after that because "he can't work on himself when he's worried he's going to hurt me," and so on. This was after we broke up the first time and he came crawling back. We decided to work on the friendship. It was going well, we were friends again.. we trusted each other again and started adding parts of a real relationship back into it. He was actually treating me like a GF, not just somebody he hides away and takes out when he's bored like he was before. I was happy for the first time in years, then one day he comes home and tells me that he went on a date with a girl (that he lied about by the way. I was told he was doing one thing when he was doing another,) and he was going to see her again, that she was great for him, and he can't stay away. He went on to gush about her, which was lovely of him btw and that he wanted to be friends. I told him to leave me alone and that I needed time  to get to that point. Well, a little over a month went by. I was finally getting to the point where I could maybe talk to him and not bawl, or get angry or set myself back in any ways. I went camping and came home to see that he'd deleted me on facebook. That? Was the icing on the asshole cake.

I


 still have his cell number. I could text him, but I wont. Why? Because I KNOW why he deleted me. I know the excuse and brush off I'm going to get, and quite honestly I don't want to deal with it. I know him well. I know what I'd be told and why. I know most everything including things he didn't tell me. Like I know the reason he came back the first time was he was lonely because nobody else just fell at his feet and let him use them whenever he wanted. He didn't "need me and miss me" he missed how I treated him because nobody else would treat him like I did, would make him their top priority like I did. He used me to get what he wanted and he's done it time and time again but I always went with it hoping on the odd chance that it'd work out. He used me for play time when nobody else was available. He used me until he found a "real gf." He lied to me, a lot. I over looked 98% of it and never said a thing because I loved him and hoped he'd sort himself out. He finally started to and he left. For the last time. I am not doing this with him again. The emotional abuse was too much. He finally killed any sort of love I felt for him. I feel used. If he loved me like he said he did he never would have been able to do the things he did to me. Ever. He treated me like shit for a long, long time. I'm  out. I'm done. That is why we're finished and even now I could write more... pages and pages more. That's how much he's done in the last few years. I don't need that and I wont take it. I am the kind of person that when I love somebody I will do anything to make it work, to fix things. He'd take advantage of that and then stop working to fix things after a bit and back slide and I'd let him do it because I liked being with him. At this point, I really dare him to try coming back again. I'm not the same person anymore and it's entirely his fault. He killed that part of me for him.

In the big picture, I'm totally fine. I'm not upset about it anymore. But some effects linger. I still randomly cry. Not over him and the break up, but for no reason. It started about 2 years ago. He had me so wound up with what was happening to me/him/us and all the lies and BS he pulled that I couldn't cry. I was too tightly wound. The only time I could cry was when something affected me.. a song, a book, a show. It didn't even have to be sad. Just an emotional chink in the wall and it'd come rushing through. I was NEVER like that before. I very rarely if ever cried, pain and death weren't even enough to do it. And now, I cry at the drop of a hat. I don't know how to stop and unwind myself emotionally. The dam cracks and I cry a bit and patch it up simultaneously. I don't know how to stop that process. I don't know how to unwind and come back to center. Quite honestly, with everything that happened I do need therapy. I know I am emotionally fucked up, probably some mental shit as well. This at the very least has taught me self preservation. You can damn well bet the next time I'm going to choose me every time.


I'm going to do my best from now on to write more. I have no reason to censor myself so we'll see how it goes.