Saturday, March 31, 2012


This isn't the question post I planned on doing today, but it needs to come out.

I spent most of today exercising in one form or another and it's given me a lot of time to think.

I had a total break down last night. I was talking to Cael and as I usually do I was letting my brat out to play with him. He was teasing and doing a facking good job of it because I ended up pouting, thinking he had forgotten our game. He hadn't, but when he apologized I started bawling. Why? Well, I had teared up when I thought he didn't remember.. so I think in some ways I'm still dealing with emotions from the surgery he had. Another reason, and possibly the larger reason is that wall I had stuck him behind when he left broke. It fucking shattered. When he left I walled him up and sealed it as tightly as I could so that it wouldn't hurt. I thought we were done for good, that he wasn't coming back. I lost my best friend, I lost my master, and I lost the person I loved more than anything. So when he was back to his teasing self last night, back to the guy he used to be, and back to me...something just snapped and I bawled. I'm crying now for fuck sakes.

I think I've been holding that in a long time. He hasn't been himself in a long time. The last year, he has been an asshole.. or prick as he called himself. Believe me, this will be no surprise to him. There were moments where he was himself, but they were few and far between. And I'm glad that person is back. That's the person I fell for so long ago. That's the person I want to spend the rest of my life with. He told me that he doesn't know what I see in him after everything that happened. I see in him what I've always seen. It just disappeared for a while, but I knew it was still there. Trying to get out from under everything else that had buried it. I see the guy that goes out of his way to take his little cousin to a movie. I see the guy that protects the people he cares about. I see the guy that once you have trust and love he wears his heart on his sleeve. I see the guy that has been there for me since I was sixteen.. even on the first day we met. One of the first things he ever said to me were "Tell your new friend Cael what's wrong." I see the guy that went out of his way to put me back together after B tore me apart. I see the guy comforts me and makes me smile when I'm upset. I see the guy that makes me feel safe.

I see the guy that :
Enjoys my neurotic ways because he has his own.
Sends me comic book related texts half asleep.
Watches cartoons.
Worked really hard for his job.
Is responsible, and put together.
Wants to move in with me, marry me, and have kids with me.
Goes out of his way even if he hates doing it to help his parents, and even their friends.
Watches TBBT and quotes it any chance he gets, but denied liking it just to bug me for months.
Is going to therapy and working on himself so he's okay.
Is working on us, and trying the hardest that I've ever seen him try. 

I don't really think there is any way to say how proud I am of him for everything he's doing right now. Even less to tell him how much I appreciate it all. How much I value it all.

I jokingly told him today that I'd have to tie him to drag him down the aisle and he laughed. Then I said I didn't think I'd actually have to tie him, that he loved me too much. ... and he agreed. That? Means as much to me as him cutting out the other girls, getting help for himself, and telling me he loves me. That is what I want. That's what I've always wanted... and I think he's finally decided that's what he wants as well. And that? Is an invaluable thing to me. Him finally admitting it, even more so.

This? All of this is why I came back. It's why I love him, and it's why I plan to spend my life with him.

Sometimes you love somebody because of who they are, sometimes you love them in spite of it. For a year it was in spite of, now again, it's because of.

Friday, March 30, 2012

*Breathes out*

So, long story short Cael is back.

We spent two days talking back and forth and just from that I can see the changes in him. If this is what therapy does for him and he keeps things moving forward like this then we'll be fine. If not..I refuse to go backwards. I just wont do it.

I'm not going into details because some of them are really personal. To sum up... he essentially gave me everything I've been asking for for over a year.. and I'm pretty sure there was a silver platter to go with it as well. We're starting over in most regards. A clean slate for the most part. I think having over a month apart actually helped. He straightened his head around and I was able to let go of a lot of hurts. So far so good. I'm a lot more relaxed this time.. not as tightly strung and worried. I think part of it is he came back to me.. HE wanted ME back. And everything is now monogamous. My insecurity there has been totally wiped out which in the long run will help us.

I know there are a lot of my friends that think I'm an idiot for going back. I can live with that. I know I can survive without him now. I know if things get bad again I can leave if I have to. I also know a good portion of my friends don't give a shit and still think I'm an idiot.. again.. I can live with it. Not their choice. I know I'd regret it if I had told him no, I'd always wonder. I really hope it works out, I really hope I don't regret going back. He sounds like himself again, he sounds like my Cael.

We're not doing the BDSM thing for a while. On my part because he needs to build the trust back up, and on his because he's still sorting things out for himself. But.. it's nice. He told me he loved me. He never has before. He's making an effort, and trying. I'm actually proud of him for the effort he's putting into Us and into himself.

Thursday, March 29, 2012


I haven't forgotten your March questions. I will answer the ones I have left tomorrow, so if you have any send them in! 

And yes, I will answer the Cael question tomorrow. You guys are on your shit.

For now though? I'm going to bed. I didn't sleep much last night for obvious reasons.

Wednesday, March 28, 2012


So, Cael messaged me tonight. I haven't talked to him since he blew up at me. He apologized, a lot and took the blame for things and told me he misses me and wants me to come back even if it's just as a friend.

I've been thinking. Lets face it, I've done nothing but think since I opened the email. I almost deleted it without opening it too. He's email has been sending me spam. I assumed it was all the same. Something made me open it though.

I think I know what I'm going to do but I'm not entirely sure yet. I told him I needed some time to process it all and he said take all the time I needed. So I am.

And that's where I am right now. Taking my time and thinking. Processing. Dissecting my gut reaction, and the reaction I had after some thinking. Two different reactions. I'm getting in the tub, and either thinking some more or just spacing out.

Calgon Take Me Away?

Monday, March 26, 2012

Sunday, March 25, 2012


I know I'm supposed to be posting everyday... but guys... I really don;t have anything to say. I went grocery shopping today... and I dropped several things in the store. None of them broke open thank gods. Then I came home and dropped several things here. Nothing broken again. I got new nail polish.. it's called Caribbean Frost. Just lately I've gotten back into nail polish. It makes me happy, the colors make me happy. I've also started wearing make up again. Not every day because I just don't have the patience for that, but more than I used to.

See? Nothing. I am really starting to feel insanely boring. Thanks blog.

Saturday, March 24, 2012

Best day Ever!

My favorite author talked to me on twitter today. My whole frieken year is made.

That is all.

Friday, March 23, 2012

Coming Home

Today was spent partly at my grandmothers and partly at home.

While at my grandmothers I spent some time with family that lives a few hours away. Again, I was reminded of why I'm totally happy not going to family events. As it is I refused to go to a wedding tomorrow. The cousin getting married is an absolute asshat and I refuse to spend any time with him. His sister is alright.. acts like she's 15 when she's 30 but she's nice enough. Her daughter irritates the shit out of me. She's 12 and she's one of those kids you just want to clock and knock them on their ass.

While I was there the cousin I don't like showed up and tried intimidating my dog. My whole thought on that is pretty clear. Fuck. That. Shit. She's MY dog.. and just because he feels the need to be "dominant" to everything and everybody in the room isn't my problem. She doesn't like him.. he pushes it and I step in the middle of his shit pile every time and piss him off. He's determined that he's not intimidated by any woman, and will always be dominant. Fuck that. He can't even top a dog. I'm waiting. Waiting for the perfect time to rain all the fuck over his parade, and gods will I enjoy it. He pisses me off. He's a born again christian who thinks women should be seen not heard, should be dominated and kept in their place. Not the kind of attitude you want to be flying around my family. BELIEVE ME.  Very dominant women in my family. I'm submissive to who I'm with because I enjoy it. In general though.. not at all. I think we can all agree that when the time comes I'll enjoy very much shoving that "place" I'm supposed to be in right up his ass. The prig that he is.


So then I came home :)

And I curled up in my sweats and listened to audio books and just.. relaxed. I'm excited, a friend of mine is moving back to where I am. She moved a province away about a year ago and I have missed her like fucking hell. She's also had a baby I'm already in love with. I can't wait for her to get here. Can't wait to have somebody to spend time with again. Somebody that I'm comfortable with. Love the girl. 

Thursday, March 22, 2012

Picture Update

I thought every now and then I'll do a picture post. I always love coming across them in my favorite blogs so I thought I'd try it. As a coincidence I have absolutely nothing to blog about today :)

My dinner last night. A stir fry of random things I had in the fridge and cupboard, and was surprisingly good. Yet another reason I am tempted to start a food blog. 

My currently brewing tea in the late afternoon light.  My OCD is showing. The spots on the glass are bugging. I washed it before I filled it with tea. :)

Wednesday, March 21, 2012


Clean house.

New furniture.

Fresh Brewed Tea.

Clean Laundry.

Some extra cash.

The scent of garlicky meat, ready to be mixed into a stir fry.

Today? It has been good. That is all.

Tuesday, March 20, 2012

A Gay Little Spring Song

Well, it is officially Spring. A time for new things.. new life, new growth, fertility, time to reconnect with the outdoors.  Time even for a change of Deities. Go googling.. just beware that you may lose hours of time. I always do.

This year I'm actually excited to be outside for the first time in a long, long time. I feel more comfortable.. free. It's.. awesome. I used to love spending time outside, the last little bit I really disconnected. Spent time outside for a bit but would rather be inside. Right now I'm already longing to be outside in the sun, near the river on my families land. I'm just ready.

I even smiled at the squealing children outside today. All last year and the year before that I hated listening to all of the kids in summer. I'm not saying they wont irritate the hell out of me in a month but right now.. it makes me smile.

I'm just content. So, I'm oddly happy to welcome spring, and Freya back among us. Tomorrow morning I plan to brew some tea and sit out on the deck. I am embracing my pagan ways and mixing them with my farm girl and tom boy tendencies.

Monday, March 19, 2012

A Filled IOU

This Christmas I got my cousin an IOU as a present. He wanted my homemade salsa, but was going back overseas so it would have spoiled before he even got home to eat it. As such, I gifted him a box.. an empty vibrator box to be exact.

He and I have always picked and mocked on another. I tend to win, and it surprises him every time. So, the vibrator box seemed totally appropriate. And it was, and totally is.

However, he is home now and will be back down near where I live for Easter. So, I'm making him the salsa, but I have another surprise for him. His fiance Elle, had suggested that I get him a gigantic black dildo.  Apparently he's always wanted one and she felt it would be a perfect mock present. So, that was my plan. I'd scoured EdenFantasys searching for the perfect oversized cock. I poured through the sex toys looking for something that would phase him the most. I was uncertain.

Then it happened.

It showed up on day on the New products list.

It was perfect.

It was a gag gift. It was mockery personified.

It was a fucking heffalump!

I cannot wait to see the look on his face for this one. My only concern is he'll want to model it for the group. My nerve is bigger than his, bring it on I say :D

Become a goddess wearing sexy and erotic lingerie from EdenFantasys

Sunday, March 18, 2012


In an effort to post every day this is my post.

Seriously. Nothing going on. I went in and got groceries today... probably not the healthiest I've ever gotten but my attitude on that this week is really indifferent. I'm feeling really disconnected, isolated and just.. alone, cut off.. almost broken right now. It's not a good place to be.

Will trying writing again tomorrow. Hopefully this mood lifts.

Saturday, March 17, 2012

Yes. I know.

Well I'm not apologizing again for the lack of posting. I refuse -.-

There just hasn't been a lot going on right now. Or nothing I see as blog worthy. I definitely need to get back into the habit of blogging every day. I miss my commenters and emailers!

As a quick rundown on all the things that have happened since I blogged.. few as they are.

Our furniture has finally bit the dust. I mean, it bit it a long time ago we just couldn't afford to replace them. The set we have upstairs used to belong to my great grandmother. They're old. The legs on the couch are rickety at best. The one is actually a wooden log. The chair is a rocker and the mechanics under it are totally screwed to the point I sat in another chair for a while then went back to that one and my back is still fucked up about a week later. It's sentimental value, yes but they still need to go. The set I found has a couch, chair and loveseat to it so it's more seating than we have now and they're deep cushions and are the older style that you actually sit IN not ON. They're comfortable. I like them. Plus they're made of real wood, not particle board shit and they were on sale. My thrift knows no bounds! As an added bonus they're sturdy and should probably last my parents the rest of their lives. They're not in their 60's but they're at that point where you start looking at things going "They don't want to replace this again so get the better one, the longer lasting one." It's weird that feeling.

I've recently rediscovered a love for the TV show Dharma and Greg. It's just amusing.

I've ordered my cousin a present from EF. A gag gift but still. I'll make a post on that in a few days.

And that? I believe is all. So really.. nothing is happening at all. Though my weight did go back down so now I'm only about 4 pounds away from where I was. I seem to be stuck again -.-  Aside from one meal this week my diet has mostly consisted of fruit and veg. Still no budge. I'm hoping once my back relaxes and stops screaming at me I can get out walking again. So sick of this weight. But it will come off damn it!

Sunday, March 11, 2012

O Hai

Sorry for the week of silence.. I think I finally had the time to just sit and put my head back on straight instead of all cockeyed like it was before. *Pauses for the immature pervy giggles. I paused while writing it :D*

I spent the night last night at Lady Di's, watching movies and downing a bottle of Palm Bay to myself. Wha? I don't know how it happened!

Then this morning I woke up, left Lady Di's and went grocery shopping. I gots fruit. Watermelon, and cantaloupe, strawberries and pineapple.. oh the happy. I also got a bunch of veg to replenish my snacking tray and two kinds of greek yogurt. I love spring.. it leads to summer which has awesomely cheap produce. I crave healthy things.. this time of year is awesome :)  Just wait until I can get the BIG watermelons *cackles*

As a treat to myself I also grabbed some nail polish. Shock and awe ensued. I have not used nail polish in a long, long time.   In fact I went to use some the other night and it all came out in one big gloopy ball. So, out with the old and in with the new! I figure as long as I take it off every few days and soak my nails in olive oil like I used to do then my nails should be fine. Always before they'd flake and just be a pain but they did that without the polish. I have high hopes for this stuff.. it's more expensive than the last stuff I had so hopefully it wont just flake/peel off after a day. Plus it's a kick ass color! It's called Black tie and depending on how the light hits it it's a deep, forest green or a lush purple, or even a greyish color. I love it. I demand it works for me! 

Now? I'm off to the bath :D  Good day!

Monday, March 5, 2012


So, as I mentioned before March is Question Month, and I received a couple questions. I definitely want more though, so keep them coming! March is the easiest blogging month, it really is :)

Tough one first :

1. "Hey serene, I'm ****... I see it's question month in your blog and i had a few questions for ya. I just started really reading your blog recently and I noticed that over the past year of posts you've mentioned that Cael has had some issues... medical? and now i see your gone but seem to be taking it really well. good for you really. But I know it's probably a really messy topic I was wondering what brought this on... you seemed to be completely in love with him and his in every way. A few small rule breaks you've mentioned but nothing major. and he gave back his affection obviously... I've been through a simlar situation before and seeing this makes no sense to me still. Sorry if it's a question thats off limits It's just been bugging me since you posted that seeing how similar our situations are. "

I don't want to over step any bounds here so as far as the issues question I'll just say that SOME of them are medical. As for what happened... you're right. I was his, I did love him.. parts of me probably still do. And by "parts" I mean most of me. I can't just shut that off. But it blindsided me as well. It really did. I think that's why I thought I was in denial for a while because I was SO shocked. Essentially what happened is a friend of mine contacted a girl her used to play with asking for a reference for him because this friend thought he was away a lot and lieing to me. So to protect me he wanted to know. I found out who it was he talked to and asked this girl why she said some of the things she did, thinking she wouldn't tell him since she asked that he not know. Which of course I told him.. I couldn't lie to him. He seen me talking to this girl as a breach of trust and quite honestly flew off the handle. He told me my trust issues were insane.. my trust issues had nothing to do with this at all. He also told me I had made everything worse for him, and to go away. He wouldn't listen to me, he just... lost it. So was it trust issues that ended us? Yes. But they weren't mine. Somebody who wasn't hiding something wouldn't have reacted like that to me trying to protect them.. especially when the girl I talked to wasn't even upset about me telling him. She herself said she didn't see why he'd want me to not talk to her and so on. It was a mess, and it was instant and shocking. I cried.. I tried to reason with him. He wouldn't have it and told me to go away and a lot of other insulting painful things. So, I went. And I am doing okay. I typed all of that without a tear, even reliving all of it. I think part of why is because I'm honestly a little pissed that he could just cast me off over something that should have been trivial that was blown way out of proportion.  I'm sure he sees it in a completely different way and that's fine. I know he sees it as my trust issues, and me breaching his trust and going behind his back (which to me makes no sense when I told him everything I knew and did.). I know what my intentions were, I know how deep my devotion was and I know I put up with a lot of stuff other girls wouldn't and will not in the future. A friend of mine told me that I sacrificed my happiness for his. And for a while I didn't know what she meant. Now, I do. I agreed to sharing to keep him happy and with me. I agreed to going vanilla so he would be okay, even though I need that dominance. There are so many other examples.. I gave everything, even my happiness and near the end some of my sanity. Every bit of me. And all of that kind of built up in my mind to help me through this.  I am sorry you had to go through something similar though. It hurts and it fucking sucks even if you can manage to get pissy over it. But then again I thrive on pissy :)

2. "My question is: do you find men with piercings hot?"

In general.. absolutely. I love piercings on guys.. and on girls. I have a guy friend that has the center of his bottom lip pierced and I routinely purr at him. And yes, he is the same guy I had the dream about.

3. "You mention having curly hair. How do you take care of it and how curly is it? Mine is curly and I can't seem to find a routine that works without frizzing my hair out."

Well, as for how curly it is :

It's curly. As for how I take care of it... my routine goes as follows :

1. Shampoo with a sulfate free shampoo.. if it has argon oil then bonus. It really does help. It keeps your hair clean, but without the sulfates it doesn't strip your hair of the natural oils quite as badly as a standard shampoo does. I know loreal has a sulfate free shampoo. I use this brand and I love it.

2. When showering shampoo first thing, then condition and leave it on for the rest of the shower as mini deep condition.

3. Deep condition now and then.

4. When getting out of the shower I use a 100% cotton towel on my hair. Normal towels tend to cause a bit of breakage especially with curly hair. If you don't want to buy new towels use a t-shirt from the laundry bin. If I'm not drying my hair I just brush it out.. yes.. brush. I know curly hair is supposed to use wide tooth combs but if you look at that picture.. my hair is long and thick as fuck. I'd be there for hours trying to comb my hair. Once brushed I add in this lotion

5. If I am drying it I use this, after brushing. Then I split my hair in two.. like you would if you were putting in pig tails. Doing one side at a time slowly separate the curls. Just grab a tiny, curl sized chunk of hair at a time and either twist it around your finger, or twirl it. Just do something to define the curls. It takes a minute at first but once you get good at it it goes quickly. Once your whole head is done use a diffuser, flip your head upside down and take a small section of hair at a time, lower it down on the diffuser and lift the diffuser up making sure all the curls from that section stay on it and place it against your skull. Only dry the hair for about a minute each section, and keep going until your whole head is done. If your hair isn't dry after that one minute per section time frame.. then do it again. Just don't scorch your hair or your scalp. I'd say only dry it about 90% of the way and let the rest go naturally so it gets it's chance to curl on it's own. Once done I use a little bit of this just to get rid of the frizz.

6. Finally.. just accept that your hair is curly and will do whatever the fuck it wants :) I've given up on controlling it. But minimizing the amount of time you use your dryer helps. So if you can skip days do it. If not.. deep condition more.

Sunday, March 4, 2012

My New Boss

Now, I know I said I'd do all the review items in the order they were sent me... but I've used this toy several times now and it's totally jumping spots. This thing? *eyes flutter* This is the only toy I have ever gotten, used and immediately went to a friend of mine and informed her she HAD to go buy it.

Goodvibes sent me the Fun Factory G4 Big Boss. Now, not only is this my first "luxury" vibrator, my first Fun Factory Toy and the first rechargeable toy I've had that's totally worth it's price tag... this thing is just cool.

Before I get into the review I want to do a size comparison of this thing for you. The stats... kind of lie. I mean they're accurate but this thing feels absolutely huge. 

First off, this is the Cush Dual Density, which is by Tantus : 7” x 1 ¾” diameter

This is the Rippler by Good Vibes : 7 ¼” long, 1 5/8”-1 7/8” in diameter


Lastly, this is the Curve, also by Tantus :  6” long x 1 3/8” wide

 Now all of those toys are a fair size. The Big Boss is 9 ¾" long x 1 ¾" wide. Which means it is not as wide as the rippler... yet it feels much bigger than the rippler. I think this is because the vibration is so strong, and the rippler is a shiny, smooth silicone whereas the big boss has some drag to it. I think by now we all know I am not a fan of lube. In fact I hate it. If I can get away without using it I totally will. Case and point? I can use the Rippler without lube. The Big Boss absolutely fucking needs lube. I can take the Rippler in cold.. no extra playing needed to get me ready and open for it. In order to use the Boss though? I have to use the Curve first otherwise my body will just not open enough for it. After 2 or 3 orgasms I can take the Boss.. with a lot of lube. This sex toy is definitely for the size queens out there. Luckily I happen to be one. 

When I first got this toy I was excited... my first luxury vibe. I tore into the box and read all the instructions... about three pamphlets all together between the vibe and the charger. As a bonus it also comes with a little packet of water based lube. Which is great since I didn't have any. Now, the toy says to charge it for 6 hours. When the toy is charging you place the little round charger piece on the back of the toy. The logo on the charger lines up with the logo on the toy and a magnet keeps them in place. I've read a lot of reviews about people hating this charging set up because the charger can easily be dislodged. I found if you place it across it's box or over something like a bowl it will stay still. My cat even nudged it and it stayed charging. During charging the light the back of the port will be red. When it's finished charging it's supposed to turn white. Mine stayed with a red tinge to it even after 12 hours of charging. So if after six hours your light is still a little red, call it done. It's just a proximity thing with the lights inside I believe. 

Speaking of lights, this toy lights up when it's read to play with you. The three buttons on the base (On/vibrate/speed on the top which cycles through 5 levels, Off in the middle, and Patterns as the third button which has three patterns to it) all light up when touched. Now, they randomly lit up for me when I pulled it out of the box and I couldn't figure out how the hell to get the thing to light up consistently. Sometimes it would, sometimes it wouldn't. I have however since learned that you have to wrap your entire hand around the base in order for the buttons to light up. Yes, I am slow sometimes. 

Once it was charged I took it to my room... and promptly found out shoving a tree up your vagina is not always successful. I took my time with the Curve and tried again... again, fail. At this point I'm thinking this toy will be a show piece. Then I remember the little packet of lube, so I wobbled my way back out to the kitchen counter where I left all the packaging (No, my house is not safe for kids) and got the lube. I lubed the toy. I lubed myself. Still, there was a lot of resistance, I literally had to force the toy in.. which for me isn't bad. I like a little pain. Once the toy was in, I turned it on to it's lowest level, thrust it in twice and exploded. However, during that short time I learned that I absolutely love the loop on the end of the toy for thrusting. It's comfortable and makes it so you don't accidentally press buttons and change settings.

To me, this toy is absolutely awesome. The power of this thing... it makes your hand numb on the fifth setting. You put it inside of you and it vibrates in and out. It doesn't have a clit piece because it doesn't need it. It is strong enough it vibrates your clit even when it's in your body and on the lowest setting. This vibrator is my god. Seriously. I'm denouncing all others and praying to this thing! This is as powerful as the Hitachi, it is the most powerful vibrator I've ever seen and it's facking rechargeable! Now, I know a lot of people are reading and thinking "But Serene, the Hitachi didn't work for me!" Well, it didn't work for me either. It's a kick ass back massager but it did nothing but irritate my clit, and it took me longer to orgasm using it than if I used my hands. This toy however, is a whole different story. I've since used it several times and have on more than one occasion had to use two hands to pull this thing out because I clench so hard on it. I seriously cannot give this toy enough praise. 

As far as packaging.. it's not the most discrete, but it is nice packaging and has a lot of information on it.

The only thing I do not like about this toy is that it's an absolute lint magnet. Even just sitting in a room with nothing moving... it collects lint. In a toy pouch.. it collects lint. Set it down on your bed.. it will be covered in hair, especially if you have pets. No reason to buy a lint roller... use your vibe! This toy definitely needs cleaning before use, you don't want to lint up your fun places. Just sayin'.

So, seriously HUGE thank you to Goodvibes for letting me review this toy. It has now replaced my favorite vibrator which was a gift from my ex. I was actually a little sad because I didn't know what to do with his vibe. It was my favorite but using it was too much. Now? I can toss it. It's been replaced with a much newer, sleeker, sexier model :)

Thursday, March 1, 2012

Holy Shiat!

So, as I nonchalantly do now and then I sauntered on over to my stats today. This blog? In has had the most hits it has ever gotten in a 24 hour period before. The most hits it's ever had in a day. I am pretty damn excited :) To everybody that wandered through today thank you and hello! I hope you come back :)

Now, onto the real post.

I recently ordered some towels from EF. Yes. Towels from a sex shop. In my defense they're large, 100% cotton towels that are great for my hair and were on sale 2 for 1. Anyways. They were delivered. In Atlanta, Georgia. I do not live in Georgia. I live in Canada. Needless to say USPS has made it onto the list. *death glare*  Then to make things worse I can't even contact USPS because they require info on US citizens have in order to fill out an email to send them. And if I want to call it costs an arm and a leg in long distance charges. Not impressed. But, EF is reshipping the items. Hopefully they make it to me this time.

Over the last several days I've noticed something. I want bitten. Badly. A friend of mine kind of bit me the last time he was over, but it was just barely a brush of teeth. I want that kind of bitten that makes my knees buckle and my eyes roll back in my head. I want to be bitten hard enough I scream and bruise. I miss that feeling, I miss it a lot. I think that may be close to the top of the list of things I want done to me. It's been on my mind all day. Of course, this could tie into the fact that my horny seems to have coming roaring back over the last few days. It had died months ago, now though? Oh good gods. I have a friend that I've talked about playing with before, and he's been invading my dreams lately. And I do mean invading in a very literal sense. I remember being pinned down and fucked hard enough I was screaming and making those little inarticulate sounds you make when it feels so good and is so hard you can't help but make sounds. Those sounds you make when every sense you have is overwhelmed. These dreams are reoccurring.  They are not helping the horny situation. Neither is the fact that he's pretty hot.

I've been contemplating ways to bring the treadmill upstairs. I need it in my face to use it.. and to lose some of the weight I've managed to gain back. Not a lot, but enough to irritate me. I also want to lose more weight (No! Really?!)and it being folded up in the basement is really doing me no good. I want to get back down to my slender curvy size. I like that size.. I am nowhere near that size right now but damn it I'll get there! Then I want that fucking mentioned above. *points up*

Now, I leave you with this:

To which I have been singing and dancing for over an hour. Not nicely either.

Well then!

Apparently March is question month. Totally forgot about it.

As always you can comment on any post or send an email any time and I will answer your questions!