Sunday, March 4, 2012

My New Boss

Now, I know I said I'd do all the review items in the order they were sent me... but I've used this toy several times now and it's totally jumping spots. This thing? *eyes flutter* This is the only toy I have ever gotten, used and immediately went to a friend of mine and informed her she HAD to go buy it.

Goodvibes sent me the Fun Factory G4 Big Boss. Now, not only is this my first "luxury" vibrator, my first Fun Factory Toy and the first rechargeable toy I've had that's totally worth it's price tag... this thing is just cool.

Before I get into the review I want to do a size comparison of this thing for you. The stats... kind of lie. I mean they're accurate but this thing feels absolutely huge. 

First off, this is the Cush Dual Density, which is by Tantus : 7” x 1 ¾” diameter

This is the Rippler by Good Vibes : 7 ¼” long, 1 5/8”-1 7/8” in diameter


Lastly, this is the Curve, also by Tantus :  6” long x 1 3/8” wide

 Now all of those toys are a fair size. The Big Boss is 9 ¾" long x 1 ¾" wide. Which means it is not as wide as the rippler... yet it feels much bigger than the rippler. I think this is because the vibration is so strong, and the rippler is a shiny, smooth silicone whereas the big boss has some drag to it. I think by now we all know I am not a fan of lube. In fact I hate it. If I can get away without using it I totally will. Case and point? I can use the Rippler without lube. The Big Boss absolutely fucking needs lube. I can take the Rippler in cold.. no extra playing needed to get me ready and open for it. In order to use the Boss though? I have to use the Curve first otherwise my body will just not open enough for it. After 2 or 3 orgasms I can take the Boss.. with a lot of lube. This sex toy is definitely for the size queens out there. Luckily I happen to be one. 

When I first got this toy I was excited... my first luxury vibe. I tore into the box and read all the instructions... about three pamphlets all together between the vibe and the charger. As a bonus it also comes with a little packet of water based lube. Which is great since I didn't have any. Now, the toy says to charge it for 6 hours. When the toy is charging you place the little round charger piece on the back of the toy. The logo on the charger lines up with the logo on the toy and a magnet keeps them in place. I've read a lot of reviews about people hating this charging set up because the charger can easily be dislodged. I found if you place it across it's box or over something like a bowl it will stay still. My cat even nudged it and it stayed charging. During charging the light the back of the port will be red. When it's finished charging it's supposed to turn white. Mine stayed with a red tinge to it even after 12 hours of charging. So if after six hours your light is still a little red, call it done. It's just a proximity thing with the lights inside I believe. 

Speaking of lights, this toy lights up when it's read to play with you. The three buttons on the base (On/vibrate/speed on the top which cycles through 5 levels, Off in the middle, and Patterns as the third button which has three patterns to it) all light up when touched. Now, they randomly lit up for me when I pulled it out of the box and I couldn't figure out how the hell to get the thing to light up consistently. Sometimes it would, sometimes it wouldn't. I have however since learned that you have to wrap your entire hand around the base in order for the buttons to light up. Yes, I am slow sometimes. 

Once it was charged I took it to my room... and promptly found out shoving a tree up your vagina is not always successful. I took my time with the Curve and tried again... again, fail. At this point I'm thinking this toy will be a show piece. Then I remember the little packet of lube, so I wobbled my way back out to the kitchen counter where I left all the packaging (No, my house is not safe for kids) and got the lube. I lubed the toy. I lubed myself. Still, there was a lot of resistance, I literally had to force the toy in.. which for me isn't bad. I like a little pain. Once the toy was in, I turned it on to it's lowest level, thrust it in twice and exploded. However, during that short time I learned that I absolutely love the loop on the end of the toy for thrusting. It's comfortable and makes it so you don't accidentally press buttons and change settings.

To me, this toy is absolutely awesome. The power of this thing... it makes your hand numb on the fifth setting. You put it inside of you and it vibrates in and out. It doesn't have a clit piece because it doesn't need it. It is strong enough it vibrates your clit even when it's in your body and on the lowest setting. This vibrator is my god. Seriously. I'm denouncing all others and praying to this thing! This is as powerful as the Hitachi, it is the most powerful vibrator I've ever seen and it's facking rechargeable! Now, I know a lot of people are reading and thinking "But Serene, the Hitachi didn't work for me!" Well, it didn't work for me either. It's a kick ass back massager but it did nothing but irritate my clit, and it took me longer to orgasm using it than if I used my hands. This toy however, is a whole different story. I've since used it several times and have on more than one occasion had to use two hands to pull this thing out because I clench so hard on it. I seriously cannot give this toy enough praise. 

As far as packaging.. it's not the most discrete, but it is nice packaging and has a lot of information on it.

The only thing I do not like about this toy is that it's an absolute lint magnet. Even just sitting in a room with nothing moving... it collects lint. In a toy pouch.. it collects lint. Set it down on your bed.. it will be covered in hair, especially if you have pets. No reason to buy a lint roller... use your vibe! This toy definitely needs cleaning before use, you don't want to lint up your fun places. Just sayin'.

So, seriously HUGE thank you to Goodvibes for letting me review this toy. It has now replaced my favorite vibrator which was a gift from my ex. I was actually a little sad because I didn't know what to do with his vibe. It was my favorite but using it was too much. Now? I can toss it. It's been replaced with a much newer, sleeker, sexier model :)

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