Sunday, June 6, 2010

A Post With No Meaning

I don't really have a lot to say. Not much has changed. Still single, still cramming for tests, still have an off-center bubble. Again I really have nothing of substance to post. Shocking I know.

There is an Alice In Wonderland ad on tv right now. I really want to see it. Tim Burton and Alice In Wonderland are my two favourite things. There is no way that putting them together would be bad.

I can't seem to decide where I am. There is the desire and urge to have somebody to cuddle up to and be used by. To have somebody to talk to, and spend time with. However, at the same time I know that there is a part of me that still feels owned and wants B. Moving forward may solve that but I don't know. Not knowing has resulted in some very pouty no cuddles moods.

There is somebody that I'm drawn to. I was actually drawn to them before B. He's just damn hard to get ahold of and we haven't spent any time together so, really hard to tell whether I'll still be drawn afterwards. Another big issue is that I know damn well Chris doesn't like this guy. At all. I know that in the end it doesn't matter what he thinks but adding strain to the relationship with Chris is something I don't want to do. Plus ya know, my own personal issues so do not help any.

What issues you ask? My weight. I know a lot of people don't see it as one and have told me so. But I see it as one and that's all that matters right? If I see it as a problem then I assume others do too. I know it's my own thinking that screws me up sometimes but the only thing that would get this out of my head is losing weight. Having motivation problems is really not even close to good for this. Has to be worked on, but I've hit one fuck of a wall.

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