- A night or so ago I ended up in the hospital. I was over at my uncles and he had a few people over. Generally not a big deal until I was left downstairs with a guy (another bullet point to explain below) and everybody else went upstairs for a bit. I wasn't really paying attention or I would have noticed they went upstairs to smoke pot. I don't do it, and normally others doing it wouldn't be a big deal. Except for the fact that I'm pretty damn allergic to it. So by the end of the night I couldn't breathe at all, (see also "The joys of having allergies AND asthma at the same time") So, I got to go spend the night in the ER. I was in the waiting room for hours, so they hooked me up to an oxygen tank with medication in a little vial so I was getting both. Well here's the thing, when the medication is the same as the one you use everyday and had been using all the way to the hospital, by the third vial I was feeling it. If you take too much of this stuff...or rather, if I do.... I get really, really nauseous and dizzy. I get pale and clammy and just gross. So by the third dose I was shoving the tank and everything at Lady Di and running for the bathroom every few minutes. By the time they called me back and gave me even more medication (a different kind thank god) and hooked me up to an IV (Which I don't find painful at all, I don't know what people bitch about when they have to be taken out.) I was over it and wanted to go home. Luckily I got to spend six more hours there before they let me. However I did get to flirt with the respiratory specialist. It's our routine, I come in, he flirts. Sometimes I think he's the only reason I agree to go in, in the first place.
- Now as for the guy I was left downstairs with. This guy in general is just a douche and I have never liked him. He just has a creep-factor to him I could never put my finger on. He's a toucher, when he drinks it gets worse. A lot worse. After everybody had drifted upstairs, he tried touching me. I told him no, I removed his hand and went to get up. At this point he decided it would be smart to grab me, and grope me. He is now sporting two black eyes and a broken nose. There may or may not be a bloodstain on my uncles carpet to mark this event, I'm not sure. I do not like to be touched. He fucking knows that now.
- As I was in the ER talking to the respiratory doctor, the guy with the broken nose came into the back. I don't think I'll ever forget the look on the doctors face when he found out I was the one that did it. Priceless.
- Moving on to more pleasant and amusing topics, I was proposed to a while ago. Nope, really, proposed. PROPOSED. He thought about it... and still proceeded with it.... believe me, I asked. This guy was somebody I dated before I was even with B. It's been a while. I left because he did a lot of drugs and I couldn't deal with it, wouldn't deal with it. So he came back saying that he'd be clean since I left and realized that he wanted to spend his life with me. I told him no. He asked about dating, again I told him no. He wanted reasons so I explained that I had moved on, that I was different and him and I wouldn't work now. That I couldn't trust him, or his judgement enough to let him lead and control me. He continued to push, so I finally give in and told him the rest of the reasoning. I told him that I wanted to try with somebody else, and that they came before him as far as I was concerned and that I would rather be with them even though it isn't happening right now. It wouldn't be fair to date him when he want me for good and I'd be gone the first opportunity the other person gave me. He got pissed off and I haven't heard from him since.
- I'm slowly getting my resolve back for exercise. Baby steps. I'm almost a week into a 3 week plan. Then after the three weeks I'll add in more stuff and restrictions. Right now I'm working on stretching every night and only have two glasses of pop a week and taking my vitamins everyday. I normally don't drink much of it to begin with but less is always good. When I finish this section I'll be adding in weights, and possibly cutting out white flour. I'm not entirely certain yet.
- I've had the writing urge fairly strong lately as well. I may try writing another story and see how it goes. My muse is a bit of a fickle bitch lately so I'm almost to the point of just writing and kicking her ass until she smartens the fuck up. I'm tired of being patient, I've been trying that for years. Not working.
- I'm also trying to meditate more, stay more centered and calm. ( I can't help it when people force me to hurt them though, otherwise it's going well.) Perhaps find more little pieces of myself.
- The last week I've been dealing with the period from hell. I have until monday left. So all together, two weeks. Two weeks! I've cramped to the point of needing a heat pack, which I have never ever done. I've always cramped but it's just made me pause before, never actually do something about it. Considering I can take a fair amount of pain and actually don't mind the cramping... that is really saying something. My nipples have also been sore as hell. I have never, ever had that happen before. It kinda pisses me off to be honest. Even laying in bed has been interesting because I normally lay on my side, things pinch. And I never noticed how often I randomly touch or pinch myself. I definitely notice now. It's quite a lot.
Wednesday, October 20, 2010
The last while I haven't posted much with any substance, this was mostly because I was processing. Then, the last two days were a bit of a blur. Because there is so much and I can't really put it into a timeline of any sort, I'll do bullet points.
Posted by Serene at 7:29 AM