After I received several emails asking about my last two posts, instead of answering each individually it made more sense to just do a follow up post. So here it is.
First, thank you for the concern. It really did help and make me feel better. However, as it stands right now, I am not dieing. Whats going on has some serious side effects, death being one of them... but right now it's not a concern. If things continue unchanged then it will be, but it's not right now. I do have an appointment next Wednesday to hopefully figure out how to change things. Until then.. I wait. I'm hoping to be able to talk to Cael and have help on this stuff, a base to go off of so to speak. No, I'm not ready to say what it is and explain everything. I may never be, at least on the blog. So, until Wednesday I wait and hope I get to work things out and get Caels help.
As far as the last post... I don't know why I attempted to keep it anonymous. As the five emails I got sent on this topic asked, and stated... it was about Cael. "After all, you've said he's the only one whose opinion matters." Hard to gloss over shit when you've made statements like that. No, it's not resolved. It wont be until he can talk to me, or if he's already able to talk to me... when he decides to talk to me. No, I'm not going to say what happened. He was sent an email that detailed it and he is really the only person that needs to know. Though I appreciate the comments of "You don't deserve to be punished" ... if that's what he decides to do, then I will be okay with. If not, I will be appreciative and will make sure I monitor better. As far as those wondering how I wasn't the only one at fault...it's not explainable without saying what happened and as I said... I don't want that. Needless to say I've been sitting here since last night, unable to sleep, worried about the outcome, hoping it's not severe enough to crush things. Some of you said not to worry, which I understand. But when it's somebody/something important...like I told Sephi, it's like being tied down to the train tracks waiting for the train to come run you over. It could be the huge train that will wipe you out and you'll never be the same... or it could be the little toy train that just smacks into you and makes you pause. Either way, you don't want to be there incase it's the big train. So, if you will...wish a little train on me :)