Tuesday, January 11, 2011

1, 2, 3, 4, BLUE!

Because anything I have to say or have thought of isn't enough to make an actual post I will do a bullet post.

  • I pulled a "Wax on, Wax off" with Sephi the other day. She blew raspberries at me. We were talking about needs and wants, and how if you're naturally submissive down to your little slubby core you need the dominance over you like you need air and water. Sometimes we don't get it for various reasons and I had a brain storm (Alright, light drizzle. In the words of Sephi, "Shadup!") and told her that just because they aren't directly giving us orders we do technically still have them. They still expect us to behave, and do what they want/need on a day-to-day basis. How did I learn this? For months Cael wasn't in a dominant mindset. While that is a large part of who he is, it got pushed back a bit at least with me. So this meant I had months where while he is dominant to me and completely owns me... I didn't have rules or domination of any sort going on. However, I still tried to behave and adjust my behavior to suit whatever mood he was in, to make things easier on him. While he's back to being dominant with me, I have rules and will have more when I move I'm sure.... I do still adjust myself with some things. We don't play, which is something I miss... but it's not a huge deal. Sometimes I miss it a lot, other times I'm happy with what is there to the point my cheeks hurt I've smiled so much. So I monitor how I react and how far I go with stuff. I'm pretty much going on his lead... if he takes it that far then fine. But I wont, even if I want him to stand still long enough so I can hump his leg :D Thus, learning to adjust yourself and follow rules that they have laid outright is good sometimes. (All that for one sentence. Yep.

  • I'm going to start exercising when I feel all the way better. And Cael has decided I'm doing it early in the morning. So, this either means I will have a set time to get up and do my exercise and have to tell him if I don't.... or we will be going back to the way it was done before where he text and woke me up when he went to work, made sure I got up and if I didn't he wouldn't speak to me for that day...über fucking affective. Why? Because I miss him and enjoy talking to him. Losing the option of that even for a day is not something I would want at all.

  • Since christmas I have acquired 3 seasons of a television show Cael absolutely hates. Add that to my I love Lucy that he doesn't and probably several others... when I move he is not being left alone with my dvds or they'll get left in a field somewhere I just know it.

  • I have been looking and have not found anything to keep my necklaces in when I move. You know that joke I made about having to wear it all? May not be a joke. Some of them are too delicate to just be put in a box where they could tangle because once they do they would be done. So, I keep looking and cursing the people who design jewelry boxes.

  • The movie night for my birthday with Lady Di and my uncle is set for the 22nd. I'm excited. I love being around Lady Di. She's so off balance...we get along great :)

  • I need to start taking my parsley pills again. All women retain some water around their periods... I'm not a fan. It didn't happen when I was on those so I'm going to find them and get back on them so I don't have to watch the scale go back up. It goes right back down  once it over with but I do not like seeing it go up for any reason.

  • Cael. He is an evil, evil man. Even on my cheat day from my diet I behave. I don't have fatty, bad for you food... I have healthy type food. AND If I do manage to find something I'm okay with eating that isn't that healthy... I have such a tiny amount of it, it wasn't worth the effort in the first place. The further along we go, the deeper I find him in my head and under my skin. Which on one hand is exasperating because he knows me so damn well and has A LOT of say and control with me... and on the other hand... it's comforting and like it's easier to breathe because he just fits so well under my skin. He's not itchy, though I do like to poke at him on occasion.

  • Lately I've been getting away with a lot. Things I do or say that a couple of months ago would have gotten me in trouble... he's letting go. He's laughing at me or teasing me. Which makes me cautious and wonder what's coming at me when he finally does decide it's enough. But, I think part of it is that he knows I can play, and poke, and give orders... and he's still in control..and we both know it. He can put me back in my place with one comment, or make me stop with an even shorter one. He refuses to tell me why he's letting it happen.. so this is what I'm going with.

  • I've discovered lately that I am very easily irritated by girls who act dizzy, or stupid when they really aren't. A friend of mine has just started dating a girl like this... I got told "Well she's wild. You may not like her. "  I told him that I tend to get along with wild and asked what he meant. Apparently being loud and acting dizzy qualifies as wild. No. No, it doesn't. Generally that combination means obnoxious and fake. On top of the fact... why would you act and pretend that you're an idiot if you're not just to get guys to treat you a certain way? That is in fact idiotic. Maybe this girl really is a moron and isn't just pretending. Yes, the snarky reader I have that tends to comment on this... this is yet another girl I don't like. Freebie. Run with it.


I think this is all I have going around in my head right now.

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