Sunday, January 2, 2011


...I read both your and Caels blogs. I was actually wondering how you feel about him being around models all the time and that he has "standards" he sticks to.


This is a portion of an email I received weeks ago. It was a question I answered over email to the person but lately I've been thinking about it more so I figured I'd make a post out of it.


The photography end of things is something he enjoys. How can I not support that? To be honest... it doesn't bother me in the sense that most people think. I'm not jealous, I'm actually happy that he's found something he likes and generally has fun with. Being around the girls doesn't bother me. I think part of it is knowing that he wants me up there even though he's around them... but other than that, I'm not sure why that end of things doesn't bother me.


What does bug me you ask? The man has dated a model, he's played with them, he sees them entirely or very close to naked. To be a model... unless it's a plus size model you need a good body. That is what bugs me. It's not even a "I hate it" type bug, it's that it's intimidating as hell. I most definitely do not have a model body. I wont tell how much I weigh, on the blog or even to Cael. Eventually I may share how much I plan to lose/have lost on here. I may share that with him now but I'm really undecided on it. If told to I would... but otherwise.. I doubt I will... because it goes back to intimidation. Yes, he has seen pictures of me, pictures of my body that didn't make it to the blog and he says I still turn him on... but it bugs me. It's in my head that the stumbling block resides. Adding the whole model thing to that... it's scary. It really is. However, I'm working on it and trusting him. As far as the standards? I don't think I've ever been told what they are so I don't really think much about them. He hasn't run yet :)

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