- First I'm going to take care of actual bloggy business. I received an email the other day from a new reader asking why I spoke of Cael quite a bit but never stated my actual feelings.
I've talked about Cael quite a bit, things I like about him, what I'm feeling right that moment but I haven't ever stated it outright. This started because when Cael and I first started out with each other... it was a flirty, playful, friendship with some benefits situation. I think the connection we seem to have was there from the beginning but we both continued to play and see other people and ignore it. We can be that dense, yes. We can both get our head shoved up our asses pretty far (It's true.. I've even told him it's up there a time or two. Yet another reason most people can't handle me and he can :D ). So it took a but of adjusting for both of us to go from that playful mindset into something serious. Then I was with B so I couldn't talk about Cael like I wanted to and he dated a few girls who found their way to my blog so I had to watch what I say. (Even then he had control over me. It really makes me wonder how long he has) However with all of that, the most common reason is... he knows. He knows exactly how I feel about him from things I've said here and in private. He knows how much he means to me, what he means to me and every little thing in between. He is deeply ingrained in me and knows me inside and out...he knows what goes on in my head about him and otherwise. In the end I can talk about him here but the way I feel about him..I don't think that's something that needs to be voiced outside of him and I. I don't share everything here because I like the little pieces I hold back of us. You can't say everything on a blog to begin with.. it would be much too hard. However, some things that could be shared I think deserve to be private *shrugs* I like to hoard him :)
- Since I was last here I have had a birthday *dances* and this year it wasn't bad. My birthday tends to either be non existent or split up in segments because not everybody I know likes each other. It's a pain in the ass. On the day of my birthday I went out to supper and to chapters with a friend of mine. It was fun. And yes, chapters is a big deal to me. I love that store. I could spend hours just looking and smelling the coffee. However! While I got a coffee I managed to refrain from buying a book. I had over 100 given to me before christmas and I have school work to do. The only book I would have gotten was a Laurell K Hamilton book... and those take priority over everything until they're done for me. So I behaved and said no because my school work would have ceased. (Ya know... once I start it. Ahh procrastination) Last friday I went out shopping with my grandmother and Lady Di. We went in to the mall (which for clothing for me tends to be useless .. I rarely like anything and finding something that fits... we wont go there. But, my grandmother always manages to make me feel bad about my weight, especially when we're shopping. It's almost like she doesn't understand sometimes... but since I go once a year with her generally I try to over look it..or like I did spend my time near Lady Di. ) From the mall we went to my favourite store... it's a pagan, hippy, eclectic type shop. I love it. I spend money so easily in there.... mostly because I want everything. And now that the shop owner knows that I am the niece of an old friend of her husbands and had something to do with the big biker party I described quite a while ago ( My uncle died in a car accident with drunk drivers... thus "old" friend) .... she gave me money off the stuff I bought. The last thing I need is a reason to buy more stuff in there. What I ended up getting was 2 more necklaces... because I just want to see how many I can get and not have room for when I move :D The one is just like my amethyst necklace... it's on a black string but the chunk of stone ont he end is tourmaline. It's gorgeous... it's essentially a clear stone with an aqua colour that's swirled inside it like smoke and a few streaks of purple. The other one I got is a three-tier necklace of red agate, amethyst, silver beads and smoky glass beads. They're pretty. From there we tried clothes shopping again... I ended up getting a green shirt with an argyle type pattern over my boobs. It's baggy enough it's soo comfy. I also got a rather tight black, purple and white shirt. It's nice and that material looks good whether it's tight or lose so as I lose weight I can keep the shirt. I also got a longish black coverup type thing. I don't like my arms really so something with long sleeves and covers me up but still looks nice is a real plus on some days. That day we also went to lunch... and Lady Di and I managed to embarrass my grandmother. My grandmother is very quiet and tends to just let things go... I wouldn't say spineless but very close to it. Somehow the drinks for Lady Di and myself werent right. It may have been the pop fountain that was off.... but it was gross. So we said something about it... and we got a very blank stare from the waitress. Which fine... I'm not going to lie sometimes somebody can say something to me and it takes a moment to register... so we gave the moment. Then tried again... 3 times later I had run out of polite sounding ways to say what I was saying. So I tried blunt... that did it. ... when we turned back to look at my grandmother her face was read and looked like she had swallowed a really nasty book. So even when something for her meal was forgotten she refused to say anything. ... and then she was ready to go home. *shrugs* We weren't rude or mean, what happened wasn't a big deal. It did make me see parts of my grandmother that she had been hiding for a while and pretending they weren't there though.
- On Saturday I spent the night at my uncle and Lady Di's. When I first arrived I took my stuff back to the spare room..and then later that night when I went back to get something I couldn't find the light switch. Where logic would dictate it would be was not where it was. It was behind the door. But I had forgotten this so I finally gave up and yell "I have lost the light switch" which amused the hell out of both of them. We watched movies until 2 in the morning and Lady Di and myself managed to cackle and giggle to the point we were both dizzy. When we're together we go some very odd places with our comments and conversations. We had my uncle laughing and disgusted and worried and wishing he didn't know half the things we said. That is quite an accomplishment. Mid giggle fest we watched Despicable Me. SO GOOD! Definitely one of my new favorites. The next morning my uncle woke up and was telling me that he had a dream that Cael was slapping me around (yes I was talking to him that night. The man is a constant with me *nods*) and I just about died of laughter and the urge to say "Well I can always hope." Later on that day my uncles friends came over. Now... this is the same man I have been complaining about for a while. I just don't like him and that day didn't help. He smokes pot like they're regular cigarettes. It's 24/7. So when he was there he was smoking... granted he did go out on the little deck they have but since it was nice it was only the screen there so it came right back into the apartment. I am allergic to pot and smoke in general isn't the greatest thing for me. So by the time he left and I had gotten home I had a huge headache, my eyes and sinuses burned, and I was so nauseous I actually had to go lay down in the dark because just having my eyes open made me feel sick. Evil. HOWEVER! While I hate that man... I love his baby daughter. She is so cute. She makes little ducky faces at me until she remembers who I am then I become a play thing. While the whole time was fun I think my favourite part was the present. Lady Di and my uncle got married in June. They were given a stand mixer for a present... but they don't use it for anything. It was sitting still in its box in their closet... so I now have it sitting on my counter. I'm soo excited to try it out. (and show Cael what it does... poor deprived man) It's entirely metal and as such it's a gorgeous silver colour. Happeh.
And since I'm having trouble keeping my eyes open I am ending this here and contemplating a nap.