Sunday, September 5, 2010

Full circle

A few weeks ago I was sent an email. This person didn't want their email on the blog, so I answered it privately. However, since then things have happened that have caused me to really think about this persons question. I was basically asked why I didn't like women, or at least the women my friends date.

I can't say I entirely agree with the perception taken by this person but it is a fair question. Any guy I've talked about here that has gotten a girlfriend I have come to not like.  However, this is not because of jealousy, female hate, or any other variety of things. I try to give every girl a fair chance(the ones that my guys date (Yes, they are mine. I have a very short list of people who I consider mine. That I'm close to and care for and various other things.) anyways. I have the same rule for guys my girls date, though admittedly the girls are a much shorter list.) when it comes to them dating my friends. I really do. There are some that give me a bad feeling right out of the gate and they're usually the ones that end up going bad very quickly. Even when I get that feeling, I generally keep it to myself and try to be open-minded. There have even been times where I have really liked somebody one of my friends was dating, enjoyed their company and thought that they were good for the other person.

Where the train falls off the track when something bad happens. 99% of the time I see it come a mile away because 1 I am a girl, 2 I'm friends with girls, and 3 I've known and been friends with some very bitchy, petty, catty girls. I get how it works, I can understand the reasoning most girls use and see why or where they were going with something. It's a creepily accurate skill. When one of these bad things happen, and it's bad enough and I can tell the reasoning for it is not good.... I no longer like the girl. At all. Chris and his ex gf are a good example of this. She went batshit crazy on me and tried to explain it away to him. A few months later they are done for the exact reason I told him when she had her temper tantrum. She had done exactly what I said she would do. I tried liking her, I really did....and I kept that going right up until she started fucking him around. A girl fucks one of my guy friends around... I take issue with it. I just do. Especially when the guy they're doing it to really loves them, cares for them, would do anything for them, etc. That pisses me off.

Cael is another example (I'm attempting to stick to examples I've mentioned before or this would be a long ass post.). I was upset at first because I didn't like the way things changed, but I got over it. I seen how happy he was and I started liking the girl because of that. Then things happened (he hasn't talked about them on his blog so I won't go into detail here either.) and it ended. Before it was decided that it was really done, I had decided I no longer liked her. If they would have worked it out, I would have been fine, gotten over it. However, the way things were handled pissed me off. Severely. There is not a single bone in my body that can fathom doing what was done, to somebody else. Let alone somebody that loved me and would have bent over backwards for me.  Something that happened with all of this tonight, inspired this post. A response that was given to something said, physically shook me. Made me mad enough it has taken a long time to write this post because I'm having trouble finding the words.

I'm going to take this in bullet points to keep everything organized and it reduces the chance of a rant that gets way too detailed. These are all things I have seen done to friends, that piss me off and make me change my opinion about my friends gfs or ex's seeing as how the question was specific.

  1. Attacking your Bfs friends, girl or not... it's not a good thing especially when you are severely out of line with your accusations.

  2. Taking him for granted.

  3. Playing princess and MAKING him pay for everything, every time you go out....even though you come from a rich family, have a huge bank account and your job pays more than his.

  4. Prissyness that gets to the point of judging him and his family for every little thing just because they are different from the high-priced, prim and proper, spoiled background that you have.

  5. Being so scared that your bf may cheat on you(with no ground of course) that you phone him every 5 minutes and pester him until he finally leaves wherever he is. (Hint, it's not like you could hear a blowjob on the phone if they didn't want you to...just sayin.)

  6. Buying a phone with a tracker in it for him.!

  7.  Getting pissed off when he says he can't afford to take you out for a $200 meal

  8. Getting mad and making snide remarks about sexual difficulties. (Funny part is, once the girl was dumped the problem stopped occurring HMMM!)

  9. Running away and hiding instead of dealing with something, or working to fix the relationship. Or disappearing all together. (Yes I can be grouped into this one. And in my opinion....if you're refusing not only should be dumped but never deserved to have the person to begin with especially when the person wants nothing else in the world but to work it out.)

  10. Deciding a relationship is done and not telling the person. See personal comments of point 9.

  11. Showing no respect what-so-ever.

  12. Showing no interest in something they have said, or have to say.

  13. Making it seem like a huge inconvenience to read something from them, talk to them, or even acknowledge them.

  14. Knowing you're hurting them and not giving a shit.

  15. Carrying on and leaving them in the dust without so much as a backwards glance.

  16. Begging drug money from them then disappearing for weeks on end. (Don't worry, he was smacked for giving it to her)

All of these things I have watched happen. Several of my friends I have watched hurt. All in the last few months. So no, it's not that I don't like the women my friends date. I try to like them, they don't allow it. Not for long anyways. Today Sephi told me "Yeah it sucks to see someone else hurt our men," and it really does. Especially when you can do nothing about it.


  1. I came. I read. I comment. They are "our men" even when they are just friends, just like you and schiava are "my girls" when I speak about you to other people. People in general tend to speak in possessive terms, even think in them. We collect things, people and memories. There is nothing wrong with being upset when someone hurts one of our people. I still have plans for your ex that I would love to act out one day :P we care for them, we spend time with them and when someone inflicts a wound, we protect them in the ways we know best. its not fair for anyone to think that you just don't like women because you dislike the ones who've hurt your people.

    and now that we've met up at WTF Way for tea, shall we get the snacks out too? I'm feeling the munchies after my stint on Melancholy Avenue....

  2. Exactly. Hurt what's mine, I take you out. The end. :P

    I'm thinking nuts and bolts. We seem to have lost ours, we could use replacements. (and that totally explains the rattling in my head today!)

  3. sounds very la familia ;) should we see about getting a few severed horse heads??

    That could also explain the tightness in my been playing with mine when I'm sleeping again haven't you!!!!???

  4. Yes. Perhaps some fish too... they can sleep with the fishes *cackles*

    Perhaps. It's just so boring when you sleep! Plus why should you get them when I don't have them?