Friday, November 26, 2010

Contemplation

Today I've been thinking. Mostly about myself and what why I can't seem to stick to a schedule anymore. For about the last month or so I've been trying to get myself into a routine. Waking up early, going to bed at a reasonable time, exercising, and filling my day with things that need to be done, should be done, things to better myself, etc. I can't seem to do it. I just can't.

I set my alarm... and every morning I sleep through it or wake up enough to shut it off and don't remember doing it. ... it goes downhill from there.

A long time ago I read a blog post by one of my favourite authors where she talked about having the same problem and that most of the writers she knows have the same issue. That it's something with that mindset, or seems to be. I write, it's not very good lately (getting back into it) but I still do it... and I'm starting to think that she's right.

The only time I have ever been able to stick to a routine/schedule of any kind was when I was with B. He set it up, told me when to be up, what to do in my day... things I had to do. Once they were done, I had free time to do whatever I want. Turns out, I need that structure.

So what does that mean for a routine right now? It means that it's not likely unless somebody takes control of it.

In other news? Still sick. Verrah sick. I pretty much have no voice. Which is really unfortunate because gods have I had some funny comments pass through my mind.

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