I was asked a question the other day about what I wanted out of this lifestyle with somebody, and if it differed from what I would want out of a boyfriend or husband that wasn't into it. Essentially my views and what I want out of a relationship, kink or otherwise.
First, I need dominance. I really, really do. I've tried relationships without the dominant angle... and I can't do it. I'm always trying to get the other person to lead, make the choices. Which will lead to a fight...or several in my case. I naturally ask what the person I'm with wants...even when it comes to haircuts, nail polish, etc. If the sex is just sex... no force, no pain, no dominance to it at all... I get bored within 5 minutes. Biting, hair pulling, pinning, bondage... whatever, I need it in some way. I crave the dominance on a really deep and basic level, I really do.
When in social situation I do need somewhat of a touch stone, a guide. I'm not comfortable with a lot of people, if they're new people... I am really uncomfortable with it. I need somebody that will say "Sit here" "Do this" or if all else fails, just sit me beside them and I will eventually come out of my shell.
I'm a textile junky. Add that to the submissive need to touch their master, and stir in a little "I like you and want you close" and I like to be touching the person I'm with, a lot. Most guys can't handle or don't like it. I'm not clingy or following them from room to room by any means. But if they're near me... I will touch them. Or if I'm feeling the need I'll move to them and get a hug or sit at their feet or just sit near them so I can touch them. If we're alone those touches tend to be more sexual, more random kisses or gropes. But with other people around I rub their back (generally unaware that I'm doing it too), or play with the little hairs on their arm. Silly little things that make me feel connected that I've found most people who aren't dominant... don't like. Or more so, don't understand even if I've explained.
I need somebody that is committed. I don't walk away when there's a problem. As far as I'm concerned, if you love somebody then there is very little that can't be worked through. Humor is something else I need. I really do... or my ass will be bruised at all times. Somebody that accepts my smartass side and thinks that my humor is funny and entertaining, not irritating and needs to be beaten out of me.
Those are a few of the requirements, the ones that came to mind as I was writing this. There are of course more complicated ones, more in-depth ones... but these cover the basics fairly well.
Now? Well, now I'm introducing a new segment here on the blog. I will post a picture, and a piece of writing afterwards. Whether or its a quote, a sentence, a paragraph, poem or story is up for grabs. As is how often it will happen but I'm starting it today.
You are a large portion of my little world. ~ Serene