Thursday, April 19, 2012


That about sums yesterday up. Odd things happened. I got upset. I talked to Cael, and because of the nature of the odd things I stayed upset.

Then of course being me, by the time he came home from his meetings I just didn't want to deal with it anymore. I wanted to move on.. instead of saying that I worded it in a way that made it seem like I didn't trust him and what he said had no bearing on the decision to move on. Which wasn't true, at all. Why didn't I just say that I was dropping it? I don't know. I honestly don't. I was not at my finest yesterday at all. I was sick that morning. I didn't eat much because of said sick then on top of that was all of the emotions that were dredged up.

I apologized when we went to bed and he said I didn't have to. I still feel like crap.. both emotionally because I hate it when he's upset with me, and physically. I was so out of it last night, preoccupied with him being upset with me I actually went to bed with my bra on and didn't notice until this morning. I also made sure I gave him lots of room if only because I couldn't stand hearing him tell me not to touch him because he was upset. Though at some point in the night I must have because I woke with my arm against him.

It feels wrong not touching him. I still feel sick. And quite honestly my eyes are puffy as hell from crying last night after we went to bed.

I really need a hug..and a nap, clearly didn't sleep much.

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