Tuesday, March 9, 2010

Life Lessons

Throughout my day today, I learned several things. Only one concerning master which in itself is rather odd.

I just deleted an entire paragraph where I got sidetracked into talking about how smart master is. I mean really, what the shit is this! I come on here to make an amusing post and I get sucked into master worship. The man is a mind ninja. *Nods*

Anyway, these are the things I learned... twitter style.

  • When hiding chocolate (or any treat) from yourself, do not tell yourself where you hid it. Yourself waits until you aren't paying attention then sneaks off to eat whatever it is you hid.

  • Master is totally perfect for me. The man has Ferngully. An entirely amusing movie that I love and is almost impossible to find.

  • Making a foreskin joke to your mother is surprisingly hilarious.

  • Offering to suck the cream out of somebody's cupcake is funny and inappropriate. Which just makes it funnier.

  • Light posts do not move when you run into them.

  • New socks on a clean floor are surprisingly similar to skating on ice. Neither of which I can do.

  • Yelling out "For god sake use your words!" when master is spanking me earns me a laugh.. but does not deter him from his task, it actually earns me more spankings whether he finds it funny or not.

  • I don't know for sure but singing the meow mix song during a spanking may have the same effect.  


  1. uh, that should have read "funniest...." coz they were all funny!

    Distracted by a 3 year old.



  2. OMG! i am so glad i wasn't drinking when i read this! i snorted and giggled and laughed out loud!

    I dunno which was funny...as a mom, the 'use your words" just sent me into gales of laughter...

    ...and as a new slut, the sucking the cream outta the cupcake had me rolling....

    Extremely amusing post today, m'dear!

    hug and giggles...

    meowmeowmeowmeow meowmeowmeowmeow....mwahahahahaahahaha!

  3. Thank you. Sometimes I write down my days and then sit and wonder why anybody chooses to be around me haha. Ya know, other than for comedy relief.