Wednesday, May 5, 2010

At first I was afraid I was petrified Kept thinkin' I could never live without you by my side

Seeing as how I don't know what the hell is going on, I've been making changes.

These changes have led me away from blog reading/commenting for a bit because it was too hard. However, I am getting back into it so I will be back to terrorize you all shortly, I feel it :)

The first change I made was with my attitude, which was explained in the previous blog.

The second change I made was inviting Chris to go with me to my uncle's wedding, not a date of course, just a "take a friend" type thing.

The third change, which has been the hardest is still taking place. I'm losing weight for me, not because B (I can no longer refer to him as Master or Daddy on here until I know what's happening. Just too hard.) I'm also planning on asking Chris to help me out with it. I can't be accountable to nobody or it doesn't work. This step is hurting because B was a huge part in my weight-loss plan and asking another for help is just... hard.

The fourth change I am currently planning. I'm cutting my hair, putting layers in and dying it. I'm thinking a reddish purple colour. Yes B wanted my hair shorter so I'd be okay there... but he wants me to have bangs... I'm thinking of getting rid of them. He doesn't like layers, I am getting them. Colour... he wouldn't care but I'm not asking.

Slowly but surely I am finding myself, stepping away from the "Us/Him" and into whatever the hell I want. With not knowing what's going on... it's allowing me time to adjust to the changes before it's official( of if it becomes official. If not he is going to have a hell of a lot of retraining to do). This is good, maybe I wont be quite so big of a mess when it does come then. I won't be a lost little girl because I'll know what to do because  "I spent so many nights thinking how you did me wrong And I grew strong And I learned how to get along " Yeah, I'll stop that... for your sake and mine :)

Now, Sephi said something to me earlier that made me think about this joke I heard a while ago so I thought I'd share it

A group of little boys were gathered in the one friends backyard one day. They were discussing what the oldest boy Johnny had learned the previous night on television. Johnny was 8 and therefore was allowed to stay up later than the younger boys.

"Last night I learned about sex," said Johnny as the other boys murmur grew louder.
"First, your weewee gets hard," said Johnny "It gets hard!" The other boys exclaimed.
"Yes! Then you put it inside 'er!" said Johnny.
All of a sudden one of the youngest boys stood up and shouted "But I don't like cider.... Can I use Fanta?!"

This has been your lame and pointless interruption... you may now return to your regularly scheduled kink.


  1. Kudos to you :) whatever you need to do to find peace and happiness is a good idea!

    Btw..totally digging the new hair color idea! Pics! Pics! We.Want.Pics! :D

    I like fanta but I'm not sure a fizzy peepee is on my list of diet approved edibles.....

  2. I'd definitely check on that.