Thursday, April 8, 2010

I don't like my language watered down, I Don't like my edges rounded off

"Love is loose, it shifts each time you move"

Sorry. I'm having an Ani Defranco moment, it happens occasionally. For some reason I have had this song stuck in my head all day and I can't seem to think of a reason.

I spent today searching for something to do. I failed, I did nothing. I however did get re-inspired on my diet and rules. They've all had good intentions lately but little follow through. I've been sulky and lazy and just not wanting to do it. 

Because of this I am taking my rules two at a time. I'm picking a rule from each set (general and diet) and sticking with those two until they are ingrained and habit. Right now I am working on vitamin taking and keeping my chain on. I love my chain but in the heat I itch around it and then a rash developes.... I think there is a slight allergy or something. But, I'm working on it. I used to do these rules all at the same time fairly easy... but with the lack of master and his all-seeing eyes (seriously, you would think the man had camera's all over the place.) they've all slowly fallen away be it lack of time to give permission or just over time dropping them it has happened.

I'm also restarting my diet tomorrow. I am having so much trouble with this. I've stated in previous posts why so I wont again but I'm getting annoyed. I honestly considered asking Master if I could have my friend help me with it, just to check how I'm doing once in a while as long as I was still reporting to Master. I just couldn't do it. I'm Daddy's, I just can't fathom somebody else having power(very small, miniscule amount that it would be) over me. I don't like that thought and asking Master to give up a piece of me is not something I could do.  I can't fix everything myself and I'm realizing that. However, that hasn't stopped me from contemplating asking if Seph wants to be my voluptuous buddy. I'm just hesitant with another failed attempt.  I'm just trying my best until he gets back and we get things back on track.

I'm much calmer today. I received a text from Master "mine" .... seriously, what better text can ya get?

I also took a few minutes out to turn my fountains on (water calms me... I love it. It rained today!!!!) and sat thinking about master and our relationship and all the reasons I have nothing to be upset or worried about. I over think.... ha.

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