Sunday, March 6, 2011


Today is my mandatory every three days post. I have posted a lot the last few days but they are additional posts not instead of these. If you're wondering why I've been posting so much scroll down a few posts and you'll see why I'm so ever bored.  This post however is  going to be about the questions that have come through the email account for question month. So, here we go :

I have read you for a year now and you seem fairly level headed. Of course since you can't see everything through blogs I was wondering if you ever got upset about silly things?

Ha. I can honestly almost hear Sephi and Cael laughing right now. I absolutely do. Everybody does. However, I am pretty good at regulating it. For instance, if I'm upset about something involving Cael I sit on it for a few minutes. I do this because I generally am fairly rational and know myself very well. I know that my hormones fuck with me and I keep that in check pretty well most times. If after a few minutes rationalizing hasn't helped I'll normally bring it up to Sephi. Mostly because I know she will tell me if I'm being stupid or if I'm justified. A lot of the time when I bring it up to her I clue in to what the real issue is before I'm even done typing the problem. Just the other day I had a huge pout going on because Cael uploaded a picture to his facebook from his mini-vacation. It was a photo of greenery. ...yeah. So I sat for a minute...sent it to Sephi and went "hey, maybe I'm upset because it's evidence other than just being told of course, that he has actually gone to see friends" ... if you go down a post or two you'll see why this bugged me. So in essence it wasn't the picture, it was my own issues which is why I shut the fuck up until I find the real reason behind something bugging me. I mean logical and sane would it be to throw a fit about a picture of foliage!? (which by the way I quite enjoyed once I got over my issue. It's still snowing where I am right now)

So no, I'm not always level-headed. I just wait for the crazy to dissipate before I say something because more often than not its not the real issue or it's fleeting.

I'm currently going to school and I am having a hard time. It got me thinking, what is your "academic weakness?"

Oh gods. Beyond a doubt, math. I literally passed my high school math courses by the skin of my fucking teeth. I honestly would not doubt if I had a mild case of dyscalculia. Which essentially is dyslexia with numbers(switching them around, omitting some, etc). I say a mild case because basic math I can do. Some days are better than others, some days I will double-check even addition. To be honest, most math with me just does not click. I can have something explained 30 times and still have no fucking idea how to do it. I do words, not numbers. I really do. Right now I'm helping my brother with his math... he's doing word problems and doesn't understand how to get the numbers out and which order they should be in. I? rock at that shit. I can pull the numbers out and understand it easily... if I have to put them into an equation and then solve the equation I'm fucked. I would actually get so frustrated I'd be in tears some days doing my homework because I just don't get it when it comes to a certain point. Everybody has a failing spot in their life. This one is soo mine. If I need to understand something I can, it'll take some time but eventually I'll clue in and figure out how it's done. Until then, it may as well be greek. Cael pretty good at it. I think he's required to take some of it in school at some point for his job(I could be totally wrong and may have made up the entire conversation in my head. I've been on cold pills lately). I really quite support this, because this is where that whole hokey "completing each other" thing comes in. One of should know this shit to round us out. And I think we all know it's not going to be me :)

I was wondering how you and Cael deal with bringing up new sexual things with eachother? Is it hard or embarassing?

Not even a little bit. I know a lot of people find it embarrassing or aren't sure how to bring it up with the people they're with but honestly.. that isn't a problem here. First, he owns me. He makes the decisions on what we do. If he finds something new he wants to try generally he'll mention it and see what my reaction is then he decides. If it's something he's done before but I haven't more often than not he just decides he's going to do it and strings me along as he plots devious things. If there's something I want to try I just ask him. We're both fairly adventurous and like trying things, we're both sexual people and pretty open when it comes to sexual things with each other. *shrugs* It's just not embarrassing or hard because for us it's fairly normal I guess.

How do you feel about masturbation within relationships? My girlfriend doesn't like when I masturbate, she thinks it's disrespectful and I was wondering if all girls feel that way?

I think it's healthy and normal. Right now Cael masturbates and texts me as a tease. I do it and attempt to tease him...which doesn't work when he can ban it. Given we are living apart right now so that may affect my view, but I really don't think so. I know Cael. I know that sex will be probably a daily to every other day thing. I know just because there is masturbation it doesn't mean that we wont be having sex or that he'd rather do that. He's expressed interest in watching me masturbate, it's something he'd enjoy. And to be honest, there will probably be times where I play with Cael instead of him doing it, or getting to pause and watch him, or even have him sitting a few feet away from me watching porn and masturbating while I ATTEMPT to concentrate on whatever I'm doing. I totally see it as a normal thing.

Do you have a safeword? If so, what is it?

I actually don't, and I really have no need for one. I wouldn't use it anyways even if I was permitted one. I like seeing how much I can take so I wouldn't use it until I absolutely HAD to. And at that point? I'm not going to think of some random word. I'm really not. By the time I get to the point where I have to stop STOP or ENOUGH is all I'll be thinking. Those words aren't something I would say without cause. Some use the red light green light yellow light system. That irritates me.. if the person topping me wants to know how I'm feeling, where I am then I can tell them. It can't be grouped into 3 categories for me. Generally though, by the time I get into a heavier play situation with a person they know me well enough to know my body language and can easily read me.

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