Monday, April 11, 2011

Missing My Mister

Just as the title says, I miss Cael. Which is ridiculous because I've talked to him today. I've stated before that it takes very little for me to miss him and it's very true. I think part of why I'm missing him lately is it's mixed with a bit of concern. As for why I'm concerned it's been addressed as much as I'm willing to delve into it in previous posts.

He was fairly busy yesterday, he's had headaches and he's either gone to rest or I've told him to go. He's been very busy with school and tests and studying. And the distance is definitely getting to us both. He's stopped doing the little things he used to... the little text-based hugs or touches. He's stopped because it's too hard, it reminds him he can't do it in person right now. I understand why he's stopped and it even makes sense, but it's another piece of him I miss.

Part of me is terrified of the outcome when he sees me. The rest of me is going to want to curl up with him and not let go for days. Honestly, once he's grabbed me or touched me enough or pinned me and tried inhaling my face I'll be comfortable then I WILL be wrapped around him for days refusing to let go. Whether he comes here or I go up to where he is nobody will see us for days the first time we actually get to be together. I have many many luffs to cover him with. Being able to touch him is going to be so unreal for the first while. Giggles and squeals of "I CAN REACH YOU!!"  "LOOK LOOK I CAN TOUCH YOU!!" will happen quite a lot. It's a very good thing he's used to me already :D

I've been asked why I stay with Cael. I've had guys try to put him down to me for various reasons. I find it almost funny. These people clearly don't know me very well. They don't know how determined I am. They don't know what he means to me, or how much I've fallen for him, or how serious I am about him. Most of them are motivated by jealousy, or lust, or just plain bitchiness. With each comment made they have no idea it makes me realize how lucky I am to have Cael, how little they know about me, and how much Cael means to me. That man means the world to me, and there is nothing in that world that could make me give him up, what we have, or what we will have. Clueless people.

1 comment:

  1. I understand a lot of it now, and I know how your relationship works now. I don't know if there's a large sadness in you that's like mine, or what it is, but following your blog posts and your life story has become something that I look forward to. I really admire you as a person, and I'm always hoping that everything's okay, and that you're doing great. You remind me of myself in a lot of ways.