Since Cael and I talked about what's been happening things have changed a bit. Definitely for the better as far as I'm concerned.
I now have to send him a report each night detailing my exercise and diet. What I've eaten and done essentially. I write down each meal, record each bit of exercise and send it all to him. As such I've actually been doing exercises like I should have been the whole time. Turns out I really did need to lose more control there in order for it to work. He has me doing about an hour a day right now. Though today's hour was mostly cleaning thanks to allergies.
On the plus side though everything is clean, an my knees aren't killing me. I did some yoga yesterday along with a few other things so I'm a little sore. But not nearly as sore as I used to get so I am improving.
I've decided to only weigh myself once a week, seeing my weight go up even when I'm exercising is just depressing on an every day basis. I know it's going to take a bit to get the effects of the exercise but it's discouraging to say the least.
In the last few days I went in shopping and came home with some new make up and brushes. I love them. I also acquired a couple new shirts, one of which has a black and white pattern on it... most of my clothing is just solid colors so it's a change. Trying to get comfortable without hiding behind things.
I've been a lot happier the last couple days. Caels around again, my rules are being enforced, I can curl up around him again, and he's coming down soon. It's a happy, scary, excited, worried, mix of things.
I'm just calm.
And since I am calm I'm going to try to nap. I haven't really slept that much since Cael left, I never do. I'm so owned.