Friday, July 9, 2010


Since my post last night I have calmed. I have apologized to Cael, because really, it's not his fault and he took the brunt of something he had very little share in. He just happened to be the one that layed the last piece of straw down so he's who it came out on. Unfair, yes, but it happened so there's not much I can do but apologize. However, last nights post is still completely valid. I still feel that way, it's just gone back to being a calm anger towards most of it.

When I logged in this morning I had a new comment. Now, this comment doesn't appear on yesterday's blog post because giving a ranting, snotty, pissy person what amounts to a link on my blog is not something I want to do. They did however, ask a few questions in-between their almost unreadable rantfest and I figure, if they're thinking them there must be others thinking it and if not they're probably still valid questions that should be answered for the people whom read this blog that I actually like.

First, no I am not upset because I'm losing a fuck buddy, nor is that the only reason that last night bugged me but thanks for that leap of logic, it was entertaining.  Yes, I will miss playing with Cael, I would have to be insane not to,   but he's not just a fuck buddy in any sense of the term. I got upset because it is yet another relationship changing and I'm not really familiar with the side of him I'm getting right now. I haven't had time to adjust to it yet, it's still new. That really is the main thing, the playing and the flirting is secondary.

Actually, YES I am aware that he reads here. I gave him the link, approve his comments and have talked several times to him about said blog. I did not write the blog as a way of saying things I couldn't say to him, but thank you, that comment made it very clear you don't read here much because if I'm going to say it, I'll just say it.  I have not written anything here,ever, that I would not or have not personally said to Cael. I wrote last nights post after I had talked to Cael about how I felt about what was happening with him. However, I knew I wasn't very clear.... I sometimes have trouble finding the root of a problem and explaining it when I'm upset. So I came here and wrote and I eventually found the issue, got it out clearly, and was able to explain why I was really upset, that it wasn't all him. Plus, I just needed to get it out.

No, there really isn't any reason that Chris's gf should hate me and feel threatened by me. No, I do not deserve to be completely ditched, but thank you for the sentiments, it warms me over.

I notice you don't have and questions about what I said with B... that I find odd but whatever.

No, actually Cael wont be going anywhere, maybe you're right... maybe it is a lack of intelligence on his part but I'm pretty damn glad that he doesn't have that "piece of intelligance" as you put it that you have. He is not going anywhere, just because things change and I get upset does not change that fact and it is a fact. You're right, I'm not going to lie about it... a TINY part of why I got upset was because I was jealous. Again, with what he does to me I would be infuckingsane not to be, but it's something I can deal with and is not the reason I was upset. As I stated before, it's not just those aspects that appeal to me about him. However, YOU seem pretty damn stuck on those ones even though they weren't the only things mentioned in my last post. Nice try, better luck next time.

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