Some Pondering...

Hi Ho, Hi Ho, it's off to pondering I go...sorry. Sad part is that I haven't even had any coffee today, this is entirely me.

Today I have been pondering. In fact, I am still pondering now. I'm also still researching. What am I researching you ask? Why I love when you ask me questions so I will tell you. I'm attempting to research Shamanism. Attempting being the operative word here. I can't really find anything. I'm finding a tid bit here and a tid bit there, none of it really helpful because without knowing other things the bits I'm finding do not make much sense.

(A short interlude while I change, please enjoy the music because as it turns out... when drinking through a straw from a water bottle you aren't supposed to squeeze the bottle. *Shakes head* Pure fucking talent guys.)

(Can anybody else hear the jeopardy music? Surely you do!)

Alright I'm done.

As I was saying there is hardly anything written up on Shamanism and this is frustrating me. I love researching pagan religions. It fascinates me, I'm drawn to them. Especially to the earth based religions. I spent literally weeks reading everything I could find on Wicca. There was A LOT (and just so you know, that is two words. Drives me nuts when people combine them. OCD for the win.) on Wicca. Page after page and book after book. It's everywhere. I actually quite like some of the details of Wicca, threefold rule, Goddess based, earth based. I tend to thrive on those. I'm attempting to find some pages on Shamanism because Cael thinks I'd like it, and I may... ya know, if I can ever find anything on it that is decent. From what I have found there are some similarities between the two. Some detailed, some in a grander scheme of things. However, both are earth based. That is what is mattering to me the most.

I have researched other religions that are more common, I however cannot get into them. Worshipping  a singular Deity or being is not something I take well too. Two halves to a whole makes much more sense to me. Other religions don't focus on the earth as much either. I need something that incorporates earth, sky, water, metal etc. I am very much rooted to the earth, I always have been. I love crystals, I seem to be attracted to Amethyst the most. I always seem to feel better when I'm touching one, because of this I actually bought a necklace with a crystal in it today. The night sky fascinates me, I can look up at it and hours can pass before I'm bored with it. Rain I am very attracted to. I love it. The more it rains the happier I get. My grandmothers friend used to be a Wiccan Priestess and told me once that I'm attracted to the rain because it's what feeds the earth, helps it grow. If it's true it could totally explain why I tend to get wet and excited myself when it rains. (Sephi, this is why I could never sleep with a thunder-storm playing in my headphones). Remember that farm I wrote about a few weeks ago? I cannot go down there when the gravel company is working. Sometimes is physically hurts me to see them tearing up the land for gravel. I'll get a stomach-ache or just a really heavy chest. I know the one time they dug up a piece that I loved and I actually cried. I'm not sure why but I'm definitely tied to the earth. Thus, religions that incorporate it or focus on it definitely interest me. Frustrating as hell when I can't get the information I want.